Hey readers, so I have reasons for not finishing my 16 Days blog.. It doesn't even matter anyway... </3
So LAST Saturday Jacob was supposed to get home and call/text me..He didn't. I called and texted. No answer. ALL WEEK, I CRIED myself to sleep.. thinking "Omg. Something happened to him." and I was so so sad..This whole week, I cried.. a lot. I was depressed and feeling blue. :( Well on Friday, My best friend Lizzy texted him..and he said he was single. Mind you, he hasn't texted me since he said he loved me and goodbye before leaving for New York.. Well to try to make it better, Lizzy said it was the wrong number..
I called him yesterday, and he didn't answer. He called me back.. My phone was being stupid and wouldn't let me answer.. I texted him telling me to call me back.. Heres the conversation:
J: STOP TEXTING/CALLING ME!!!!
B: Wtf, WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! DID YOU FORGET WE WERE DATING?!?!
J: Stop texting me. Or I will block you.
B: What happened?! When the h*** did you break up with me?! </3 </3 </3 </3
J: Im blocking you.
B: We are dating though!!! :'( :'( :'(
J: NO WE ARE NOT!!!!!!
B: .....</3 what happened to forever?
J: Im blocking you.
I called him- sure enough.. he blocked my number.
I have NO idea when he decided to just 'dump me' but I had no idea... </3 I love how he didn't even have the guts to tell me it was over...apparently I was supposed to take a hint from 'the silent treatment.'..I also found out he was cheating on me. Go Him. I cried.. A LOT...but then I realized of the depression I WASTED because of Javan, and I forgot about that stupid boy(: I do not care what he does, who he dates, or what he thinks. I really do not care anymore. :) Matter of fact, Ive already been asked out 2 times.. and I like someone:) He even saved a picture of me to his phone(: (: (Call me pathetic, but I got all happy:D :P) One of my best friends is trying to convince me to ask him out because she thinks we 'are in love with each other'. :P but, Yeah. I am very happy I do not have to worry about the stress of an Long Distance Relationship anymore(: I forgave him, and forgot the relationship:) Go Me. Woot.. ok so..next order of buisness. :P
So I went to church this morning.. and I found out the worst news I could ever find out from my church....</3
My youth pastor and his wife are moving to Virginia in 3 weeks!!!!!! NOBODY knows how close I am to both of them.. My pastor read the note of resignation..and I started to bawl!! <////3 I will miss them so much!! My youth pastor hugged me for the first time..and I just wanted to cry in his arms. </3 They have helped me through SO MUCH, and they are gonna be G O N E. I know..I know..its called 'Facebook' and 'texting' but its not the same thing..!!!! SO yeah, this weeks been a hard, emotional one..but if I want the rainbow, i have to get through the storm. <3
Well I just want to thank my friends for being there for me the past couple of days:
Elizabeth: Your Facebook status, oh my gosh! I LOVE YOU!!! You helped me SO SO SO MUCH! Ahh,I love you! <3
Allie: Your the BEST sister I could EVER ASK FOR!!! You always know how to make it better. <3.. Your the one I go to for band-aids when I fall off my bike(NOT LITERALLY!:P) and OH MY GOSH, I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZZY!
Tony: Your an amazing best guy friend, brother, and amazing person. Thank You for the kind words and big long hug today, it felt so safe and amazing!. <3
Matthew: O.M.G. You make me smile ALL the time, and even though your a HORRIBLE physicologist, your an AMAZING FRIEND BECAUSE YOU MAKE MY DAY AMAZING!. Your great. :)
My blog is all about inspiration. Inspiring myself, others, and developing an individual. My stories will be stories of happiness,love,passion,trust,truth,desire,pain,hurt. This blog is deeper then emotions, it goes further down to a much deeper level. I will be completely honest in each blog post, and will give my all to make my blog show who I really am. If you would like me to write a specific topic- let me know at : Bigsister2one@yahoo.com
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Day Four
Soo knowing me, and less than 5 days till my sexy boy gets home.. Its time for ME to worry about his plane trip back home,:p soo at church.. We pray in small groups, i prayed with Roxanna(a young adult) and Lizzy(:
roxanna was making fun of my worrysum self about Jacobs flight... And she prays
"Help the young man Becca is developing feelings for to truely love Becca"
(Me and Lizzy laugh)
Lizzy prays "Help Jacob to get home from New York safely so Becca can finally quit freaking out!!"
(we start laughing harder- into tears)
i pray "Help Jacob to get home safe.. And i hope his plane doesnt like crash"
( i start crying frkm hystaric laughter)
yez, today was full of happiness and lsughter<3 it was AMAZING:)
roxanna was making fun of my worrysum self about Jacobs flight... And she prays
"Help the young man Becca is developing feelings for to truely love Becca"
(Me and Lizzy laugh)
Lizzy prays "Help Jacob to get home from New York safely so Becca can finally quit freaking out!!"
(we start laughing harder- into tears)
i pray "Help Jacob to get home safe.. And i hope his plane doesnt like crash"
( i start crying frkm hystaric laughter)
yez, today was full of happiness and lsughter<3 it was AMAZING:)
Day Five
Hyy Readers- sorry this is kinda late, by a day or two:p soo tuis ones short and sweet- i laughed.: i laughed a real, abb-killing laughing spazz(: i was talking to Lizzzzy(the girl Jacob goes to school with:p) and we were laughing about Jacobs "maturity"..:D it was AMAZING to just laugh at my boyfriend(: it made me smile, and i know i can grt through the next couplr days:)
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day Six
Readers, Heyy <3
Ohk, so yesterday was a fun day... Hahaha..
I was thinking about everything I put Jacob through before I started to like him.. And I am not proud of how mean I was..but I was thinking about why guys liked me..and I came to this conclusion:
The story about Javan(The one I posted who knows how long ago..) showed you I was M E A N, and yet, Javan still liked me. Javan stood by my side, not once leaving my side.. He was there through every mean thing that I said and did, Yes it took me 2-3 years to realize it, but I did.
When I first started to Jacob, I pretended to be my friend's boyfriend.. that was a fail..After like 3 texts..I felt REALLY REALLY bad and then fessed up to who I really was, and how I knew Woodring. He forgave me, and we started to talk. We were friends, and He told me he liked me.. After what Javan put me through..I was NASTY.. Like after many fights..he told me: "If I can't have you, I don't want anyone." and I said "Guess you will be living a lonely life while I am with a ton of guys doing what I do best!" ...After a while of this torturing mean-ness. (He confessed that I put him in tears..many many times.) He threatened suicide a couple times.. and I told him each time "Good. I hope you do, I wouldn't care." and I was just so mean!!! He threatened to cut my name into his wrist.. and I am so honestly surprised he didn't.. Well one night I was thinking about what I did to Javan, and how when I finally realized he LOVED me, that I almost lost my chance..and I didn't want to loose my chance with Jacob. I started to bawl, and Jacob ALWAYS told me he sleeps with his phone on vibrate, on his tummy so I could call him at any hour of the night. I called him at 1am one night/morning..BAWLING. I told him I was so so so sorry, and he forgave me..After several minutes of me apologizing and crying.. He said to me "Becca. I love you, and I wanted to know if you would ever want to be my baby girl?" I sat there in my dark room.. clearing away my tears and I said "I want to be your baby girl, right now..and how could you love me?" and he said to me "Your perfect, no matter how many imperfections you have..your still perfect to me. I forgive you and that pain is all worth it now that your mine, I Love You Becca Boo".. and I started to happy-cry.. and he assured me it was ohk, and that he loved me. Ever sinse that night.. I realize someone truely loves you when they have seen your WORST side, and still love you.. Jacob showed me what love was, and I love him for that. He is truely amazing..NOT ONCE has he EVER made me intentionally cry, NOT ONCE has he been nasty or mean to me.. NOT ONCE has he ever threaned to leave. He is AMAZING, And I LOVE HIM..
I thought of this..because- for reasons I can not post..but the other person who likes me, was mean to me yesterday..when I showed him my nasty side, and yet h says he loves me.. and I don't believe the 'sweet words' he says because I believe he doesn't mean them.. I beleieve I found my prince Charming, and he is EVERYTHING to me.
I also was so so so excited yesterday, was my 1 week mark till I MEET JACOB! :D :D :D :D :D
My best friend, Allie, and her boyfriend, and I, and Jaco bare all goign to the city pool(: Im nervous..but OH SO EXCITED! :D :D :D :D :D
My other really good friend said he looks/is so so so so innocent, and I can't wait to feel/see his innocence. <3 Eeeeeep!!!! :) :) :) :)
Well, I love Jacob. :D
~Becca
Ohk, so yesterday was a fun day... Hahaha..
I was thinking about everything I put Jacob through before I started to like him.. And I am not proud of how mean I was..but I was thinking about why guys liked me..and I came to this conclusion:
The story about Javan(The one I posted who knows how long ago..) showed you I was M E A N, and yet, Javan still liked me. Javan stood by my side, not once leaving my side.. He was there through every mean thing that I said and did, Yes it took me 2-3 years to realize it, but I did.
When I first started to Jacob, I pretended to be my friend's boyfriend.. that was a fail..After like 3 texts..I felt REALLY REALLY bad and then fessed up to who I really was, and how I knew Woodring. He forgave me, and we started to talk. We were friends, and He told me he liked me.. After what Javan put me through..I was NASTY.. Like after many fights..he told me: "If I can't have you, I don't want anyone." and I said "Guess you will be living a lonely life while I am with a ton of guys doing what I do best!" ...After a while of this torturing mean-ness. (He confessed that I put him in tears..many many times.) He threatened suicide a couple times.. and I told him each time "Good. I hope you do, I wouldn't care." and I was just so mean!!! He threatened to cut my name into his wrist.. and I am so honestly surprised he didn't.. Well one night I was thinking about what I did to Javan, and how when I finally realized he LOVED me, that I almost lost my chance..and I didn't want to loose my chance with Jacob. I started to bawl, and Jacob ALWAYS told me he sleeps with his phone on vibrate, on his tummy so I could call him at any hour of the night. I called him at 1am one night/morning..BAWLING. I told him I was so so so sorry, and he forgave me..After several minutes of me apologizing and crying.. He said to me "Becca. I love you, and I wanted to know if you would ever want to be my baby girl?" I sat there in my dark room.. clearing away my tears and I said "I want to be your baby girl, right now..and how could you love me?" and he said to me "Your perfect, no matter how many imperfections you have..your still perfect to me. I forgive you and that pain is all worth it now that your mine, I Love You Becca Boo".. and I started to happy-cry.. and he assured me it was ohk, and that he loved me. Ever sinse that night.. I realize someone truely loves you when they have seen your WORST side, and still love you.. Jacob showed me what love was, and I love him for that. He is truely amazing..NOT ONCE has he EVER made me intentionally cry, NOT ONCE has he been nasty or mean to me.. NOT ONCE has he ever threaned to leave. He is AMAZING, And I LOVE HIM..
I thought of this..because- for reasons I can not post..but the other person who likes me, was mean to me yesterday..when I showed him my nasty side, and yet h says he loves me.. and I don't believe the 'sweet words' he says because I believe he doesn't mean them.. I beleieve I found my prince Charming, and he is EVERYTHING to me.
I also was so so so excited yesterday, was my 1 week mark till I MEET JACOB! :D :D :D :D :D
My best friend, Allie, and her boyfriend, and I, and Jaco bare all goign to the city pool(: Im nervous..but OH SO EXCITED! :D :D :D :D :D
My other really good friend said he looks/is so so so so innocent, and I can't wait to feel/see his innocence. <3 Eeeeeep!!!! :) :) :) :)
Well, I love Jacob. :D
~Becca
Day Seven
Hey Readers, oh gosh, I have not posted in awhile, I have been busy and lazy! :P I apologize, <3
Anyway. So the 7 day mark was one of my better days!! :D On Saturday, I was THRILLED!!! I was hopping around thinking "OMG SOMETIME NEXT SATURDAY I WILL BE ON THE PHONE WITH MY PRINCE FOR HOURS!!!" I forgot all the drama for a few moments and just thought about how much I love Jacob. He gives me a strength that only a special boy can do, he never tries to make me cry..and when he does, he feels TERRIBLE about it..and cries right with me on the phone, <3 .. I am truthfully, blessed for such an amazing boy, He understands me.. He is just amazing. Lately, it seems like nobody understands how much I love him- I am very tired of being told "I am too young to love"..I was recently told I am not mature enough to make this relationship last, little does that person know how much hurt I have been through with other relationships, and the strength I have been given, It is truly amazing. I am a very mature person, even though I have many immature moments. When I am with my friend- NOBODY but the people who REALLY know me know how mature I am, especially in relationships, When I really like someone(Or love..Like Jacob<3)..I give it my 100%, and I know that's a lot. I am always willing to give myself into a commitment. Anyway, I was out with my mom for a Scrapbooking Crop, and my BestFriend(Well one of them:P, Her and Allie are my everything..and Jacob, duh.:P)- Courtney texted me saying my ex was spreading rumors about me. The rumors ranged from Jacob cheating on me, to Jacob leaving me for another girl. The thing is.. Nobody from my school..KNOWS him, except a friend..but she hates him..so that doesn't matter.. but my ex has NO freaking clue who Jacob is..and here he is..trying to ruin what I got, I KNOW Jacob isn't cheating..or planning on leaving me..but I was oh-so p.o that Javan would make up lies like that!!!!!!! I was irritated, and then I have to deal with another guy telling me he loves me...and I am just so annoyed!!! I am ready to have my boyfriend back, and everything back to normal, just to hear him say that he will take care of things, and he LOVES me and just.. I am ready for his promises, commitment, sweet words, and his listening skills. I miss him so much, but I know he will be back soon- and I am so so so ready for him to be back, I LOVE YOU JACOB MICHAEL!!!!
Anyway. So the 7 day mark was one of my better days!! :D On Saturday, I was THRILLED!!! I was hopping around thinking "OMG SOMETIME NEXT SATURDAY I WILL BE ON THE PHONE WITH MY PRINCE FOR HOURS!!!" I forgot all the drama for a few moments and just thought about how much I love Jacob. He gives me a strength that only a special boy can do, he never tries to make me cry..and when he does, he feels TERRIBLE about it..and cries right with me on the phone, <3 .. I am truthfully, blessed for such an amazing boy, He understands me.. He is just amazing. Lately, it seems like nobody understands how much I love him- I am very tired of being told "I am too young to love"..I was recently told I am not mature enough to make this relationship last, little does that person know how much hurt I have been through with other relationships, and the strength I have been given, It is truly amazing. I am a very mature person, even though I have many immature moments. When I am with my friend- NOBODY but the people who REALLY know me know how mature I am, especially in relationships, When I really like someone(Or love..Like Jacob<3)..I give it my 100%, and I know that's a lot. I am always willing to give myself into a commitment. Anyway, I was out with my mom for a Scrapbooking Crop, and my BestFriend(Well one of them:P, Her and Allie are my everything..and Jacob, duh.:P)- Courtney texted me saying my ex was spreading rumors about me. The rumors ranged from Jacob cheating on me, to Jacob leaving me for another girl. The thing is.. Nobody from my school..KNOWS him, except a friend..but she hates him..so that doesn't matter.. but my ex has NO freaking clue who Jacob is..and here he is..trying to ruin what I got, I KNOW Jacob isn't cheating..or planning on leaving me..but I was oh-so p.o that Javan would make up lies like that!!!!!!! I was irritated, and then I have to deal with another guy telling me he loves me...and I am just so annoyed!!! I am ready to have my boyfriend back, and everything back to normal, just to hear him say that he will take care of things, and he LOVES me and just.. I am ready for his promises, commitment, sweet words, and his listening skills. I miss him so much, but I know he will be back soon- and I am so so so ready for him to be back, I LOVE YOU JACOB MICHAEL!!!!
Friday, July 8, 2011
My Life With Horrible Parents!!
Hey readers.. So this is about how i hate my family!!!
My dad: cusses me out when i do something 'perfect'(which is 99.9% of the time in my parents ees!!!), uhm yells at me for spending time in my room!!!!, has an 'attitude', yells at me when i mess with him(yet he can mess with me WHENEVER he wants and i get in trouble for yelling at him!!!!) and so much other crap!!!
My mom: TREATS ME LIKE A FREAKING 3 YEAR OLD!!! I have to have my phone on the counter at 10, and she READS MY FREAKING TEXTS!!! im sorry!!! BUT THOSE ARE PERSONAL!!! im not allowed to have a Facebook( HOW FREAKING STUPID IS THAT?!?!?!?!) and she makes me go go bed at midnight( i have to be in my room at 9..) and she freaking embarrasses me EVERYWHERRE we go!!! Shes seriously stupid. I worked for HOURS on her birhday card, yah she already ruined it!! She never gives me money, i cant have the friends SHE doesnt like over... I cant makeout with a guy(thats stupid, too bad i dont care and do it anyway;) ) i cant get my belly button peirced, and i cant say 'freaking' (break that rule a lot too)... If she had it her away.. I wouldnt even HAVE a boyfriend!! Shes so stupid!! I hate her. I cant WAIT to move out.. Im moving FAR away, and too be honest... I dont want my future kids seeing my parents, they can see Uncle Carlos, but NOT my mom or dad... My mom doesnt respect me or my privacy, and im TIRED OF IT. Im a Freshman in highschool, not a freaking elemantary kid. If she had her away- i woulsnt be able to wear short shorts or my bikini... Too bad i dont care what she thinks of what i wear!:) my mom has been a horrible mother to me, and im tired of it. I cant stand up for myselc though.. Or i get in trouble. She makes promises... And breaks them... ALL OF THEM!!! I HATE MY MOTHER SO MUCH!! i PROMISE RIGHT NOW TO BE A MUCH BETTER MOTHER TO MY KIDS THEN WHAT MY MOM WAS TO ME!!! IM GONNA THINM BEFORE GETTING PRENANT BEFORE IM MARRIED!! Im gonna think of my kids and their needs before i buy a pack of ciggerettes( she thinks im too dumb to figure it out... The smell is on her clothes and the pop can in he garage is ibiously hers!!) im gonna think before smacking my kids- i will punish them.. But i will NEVER physically hurt them!!! I dont respect my mom, never will, im going to rebel at age 18.. And i will laugh as she cries. She deserves it.
My dad: cusses me out when i do something 'perfect'(which is 99.9% of the time in my parents ees!!!), uhm yells at me for spending time in my room!!!!, has an 'attitude', yells at me when i mess with him(yet he can mess with me WHENEVER he wants and i get in trouble for yelling at him!!!!) and so much other crap!!!
My mom: TREATS ME LIKE A FREAKING 3 YEAR OLD!!! I have to have my phone on the counter at 10, and she READS MY FREAKING TEXTS!!! im sorry!!! BUT THOSE ARE PERSONAL!!! im not allowed to have a Facebook( HOW FREAKING STUPID IS THAT?!?!?!?!) and she makes me go go bed at midnight( i have to be in my room at 9..) and she freaking embarrasses me EVERYWHERRE we go!!! Shes seriously stupid. I worked for HOURS on her birhday card, yah she already ruined it!! She never gives me money, i cant have the friends SHE doesnt like over... I cant makeout with a guy(thats stupid, too bad i dont care and do it anyway;) ) i cant get my belly button peirced, and i cant say 'freaking' (break that rule a lot too)... If she had it her away.. I wouldnt even HAVE a boyfriend!! Shes so stupid!! I hate her. I cant WAIT to move out.. Im moving FAR away, and too be honest... I dont want my future kids seeing my parents, they can see Uncle Carlos, but NOT my mom or dad... My mom doesnt respect me or my privacy, and im TIRED OF IT. Im a Freshman in highschool, not a freaking elemantary kid. If she had her away- i woulsnt be able to wear short shorts or my bikini... Too bad i dont care what she thinks of what i wear!:) my mom has been a horrible mother to me, and im tired of it. I cant stand up for myselc though.. Or i get in trouble. She makes promises... And breaks them... ALL OF THEM!!! I HATE MY MOTHER SO MUCH!! i PROMISE RIGHT NOW TO BE A MUCH BETTER MOTHER TO MY KIDS THEN WHAT MY MOM WAS TO ME!!! IM GONNA THINM BEFORE GETTING PRENANT BEFORE IM MARRIED!! Im gonna think of my kids and their needs before i buy a pack of ciggerettes( she thinks im too dumb to figure it out... The smell is on her clothes and the pop can in he garage is ibiously hers!!) im gonna think before smacking my kids- i will punish them.. But i will NEVER physically hurt them!!! I dont respect my mom, never will, im going to rebel at age 18.. And i will laugh as she cries. She deserves it.
Day 8
Heyy Readers. So im very p.o right now because my parents are STUPID. Anyway, this blog isnt about my stupid family, it about Jacob- the sexy.. Amazing.. Wonderful.. Love of my life:) Todays blog is pretty dramatic... So that guy who p'd me off a couple days.. P'd me off again... THE WHOLE FREAKING TIME JACOBS BEEN GONE hes been begging me to break up with Jacob to date him. This creeper had flirted with me non stop!!!(EXAMPLE: Me: shooot, i just dropped a cup full of Frosted Flakes down my shirt!!! Evan: Ill reach down and get them;)) its FREAKING ANNOYING!!!! Anyway, today we wer texting.. And he says: Becca, i love you. I was FREAKING MADD!!!!! A) i cant stand him B)I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO I ADORE!!! Yesh. I was mad! And so i went off on him:) i told him to stop texting me:D whatever i said- it worked. He hasent texted me sense(: woot!!!! Haha, so yah.. Today was drsmatic.. I love my baby more theb anything- more then my phone, ipod, and family. I wanna spend FOREVER withmy boo!!:) I LOVE JACOB!!!:)
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Day 11
Heyy Readers.. Sorry i havent blogged in a couple days- i went on vacstion and had no freaking wi-fi... Talk about being freaking p.o.. Anyway, we went to Cedar Point/Soak City.. Dont get me wrong i LOVE the places, but it SUCKS seein all the PDA with couples when your missing your baby..:'( it was so hard not to cry... To TRY to realive some stress, i took Carlos to the beach.. there i wrote our names in the sand, and daydreamed of walking along the shore.. I cried a little- but i made it through by building sand castles with Carlos:) i then asked me mom if i could go to Cedar Point with Carlos- alone. She agreed... I made him hold my hand- so i didnt loose him(: it felt good holding his hand, it msde me less sad. we rode the Magnum, Skyhalk, and Mellenium before returning to the hotel room for sleep.. Where i drifted thinking about a soft romantic makeout session with Jacob!! i love you:)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Day 12
Heyyy Readers, today i dont feel like podting my '16 Days' blog:( sorry... I just want to say 'Becca and Jacob forever'
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day 13
Heyy readers, guess what- i actually am posting my blog post esrlier than normal.. And today is actually still the '13 days till he getd back' *gasp* i know, Becca Boo has a lot on her mind, Someone made me VERY upset by trying to make me doubt my love for Jacob. I do not doubt my love for Jacob, today i realized HOW much i adore him. I do adore him, today is actually my 5 week anniversarry with him(: Happy Anniversary baby!!! I got very offended by the words he said to me- to add to it, he honestly was trying t tell me how far (sexually) i am "allowed" to go with him!!! Excuse me, but my sex life is his and mine( NOTE TO READERS: i plan to stay pure, its just its annoying to have someone try to dictate your sex life) anyway- i then cried because i miss him... And its hard, i just wanted to tell Jacob about this person, and i couldnt!! I wanted to kiss him and say "Happy 5 weeks" I wanted him to hold me tight and give me safety, today i was sad....
My boyfriend will getto see the fireworks in New York City tomorrow night.. And frankilly, im freaking jealous!!! Im jealous and sad. He said a while back(before he knew about the trip..) that we could see the fireworks together, and hoe romsntic it would be to make out under thr falling colors...:( and im sad that ill be lonely, but its ohk.. Its my moms birthday anyway..:/ siggggh. I Love You Jacob, oh my gummybears.. Im cryin'!!! :,( blah !! Well. Im honna go cry to sleep, love you guys -Becca
My boyfriend will getto see the fireworks in New York City tomorrow night.. And frankilly, im freaking jealous!!! Im jealous and sad. He said a while back(before he knew about the trip..) that we could see the fireworks together, and hoe romsntic it would be to make out under thr falling colors...:( and im sad that ill be lonely, but its ohk.. Its my moms birthday anyway..:/ siggggh. I Love You Jacob, oh my gummybears.. Im cryin'!!! :,( blah !! Well. Im honna go cry to sleep, love you guys -Becca
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Tomorrow, July 4, Is my mom's Birthday. I know it seems stupid that I am posting about a Birthday, but I am taking this as an opportunity to post about my mom, My mother, has been there for me for 14 long years.
I was born before my mother married my father- and I often get weird looks about that because my mother is a dedicated Christian (Now). Well. I want to say, I don't judge my mom for having me fore she was married. I do not wish to follow in those footsteps, but I will respect the past.
I was a year old, and my mother had married my father six months previous, Things were rough, living in Arizona, The things that took place are far too personal to be posting on here- and I don't even fully understand myself.
I was two when my mother and father picked up everything we owned and put it in the back of a U-Haul and we moved to Ohio. We moved in with my grandmother, who was the only person we knew in Ohio. My mother cried, for me.
I was three, things were still going rough, but it felt much safer to be in Ohio without all the bad troubles of bad friends, abusive family, and ect. My mother's smile shown a little bit more brightly, loving me unconditionally.
I was four when I met my preschool love. My mom says we held hands under the table at school, and he kissed me on the cheek everyday at recess. My mom helped in my class.
I was five when I thought my dad's best friend- Matt, was a a hot man, I had a huge crush on him- and I even told him that. He always hugged me and I felt like a Princess. My mom laughed at me, but let it go.
I was six when I began to grow up, I met my Childhood best friend- Alissa, and I loved her. We spent every minute,second, hour of the day together. My mother made it happen.
I was seven when I began to tell secrets, Alissa was my friend who I played babies with,we had tea parties, we pretended we were models, we even pretended to live on a deserted island. My mother made sure my imagination always ran wild.
I was eight when my classmate did something terrible to me. Austin, he told me I was wonderful. He made me feel alright, and he hurt me. I can't say how- but the incident when unresolved. My mother pulled me out of school and started to homeschool me.
I was nine when I met my current best friend- Allie. When nobody else would be my friend, Allie did. She loved me like a sister..and we supported each other. <3 My mother allowed us to have sleepovers.
I was ten when my cat went insane and attacked me. (I still have scars to prove it.) My mother watched in total fear as I had scratch marks every inch of my arms,face,and legs. My mother desperatly tried to take away the pain.
I was eleven when I went back to public school, I made many new friends but was intimidated by not knowing anyone. My mother comforted me everyday.
I was twelve when I fell for Timmy- the perfect boy that every girl was best friends with. My mother chuckled and hoped for the best.
I was thirteen when I fell in love with Javan, I dated Javan, and I kissed Javan.(1st Kiss). He broke up with me on Christmas, My mother held me for hours just so I could cry, and I swear she was crying too.
I am fourteen, And I am dating Jacob- my current and hopefully forever boyfriend. My mother respects that I am growing up, and she looks at herself realizing she is growing up too.
My mother and I have cried,laughed, and spent hours in conversation. I would not say we are the closest- not even close, but I love my mother, and I hope her Birthday is amazing-
happy Fourth Of July/Birthday mom. Enjoy the fireworks- that are put on JUST for you. <3
I was born before my mother married my father- and I often get weird looks about that because my mother is a dedicated Christian (Now). Well. I want to say, I don't judge my mom for having me fore she was married. I do not wish to follow in those footsteps, but I will respect the past.
I was a year old, and my mother had married my father six months previous, Things were rough, living in Arizona, The things that took place are far too personal to be posting on here- and I don't even fully understand myself.
I was two when my mother and father picked up everything we owned and put it in the back of a U-Haul and we moved to Ohio. We moved in with my grandmother, who was the only person we knew in Ohio. My mother cried, for me.
I was three, things were still going rough, but it felt much safer to be in Ohio without all the bad troubles of bad friends, abusive family, and ect. My mother's smile shown a little bit more brightly, loving me unconditionally.
I was four when I met my preschool love. My mom says we held hands under the table at school, and he kissed me on the cheek everyday at recess. My mom helped in my class.
I was five when I thought my dad's best friend- Matt, was a a hot man, I had a huge crush on him- and I even told him that. He always hugged me and I felt like a Princess. My mom laughed at me, but let it go.
I was six when I began to grow up, I met my Childhood best friend- Alissa, and I loved her. We spent every minute,second, hour of the day together. My mother made it happen.
I was seven when I began to tell secrets, Alissa was my friend who I played babies with,we had tea parties, we pretended we were models, we even pretended to live on a deserted island. My mother made sure my imagination always ran wild.
I was eight when my classmate did something terrible to me. Austin, he told me I was wonderful. He made me feel alright, and he hurt me. I can't say how- but the incident when unresolved. My mother pulled me out of school and started to homeschool me.
I was nine when I met my current best friend- Allie. When nobody else would be my friend, Allie did. She loved me like a sister..and we supported each other. <3 My mother allowed us to have sleepovers.
I was ten when my cat went insane and attacked me. (I still have scars to prove it.) My mother watched in total fear as I had scratch marks every inch of my arms,face,and legs. My mother desperatly tried to take away the pain.
I was eleven when I went back to public school, I made many new friends but was intimidated by not knowing anyone. My mother comforted me everyday.
I was twelve when I fell for Timmy- the perfect boy that every girl was best friends with. My mother chuckled and hoped for the best.
I was thirteen when I fell in love with Javan, I dated Javan, and I kissed Javan.(1st Kiss). He broke up with me on Christmas, My mother held me for hours just so I could cry, and I swear she was crying too.
I am fourteen, And I am dating Jacob- my current and hopefully forever boyfriend. My mother respects that I am growing up, and she looks at herself realizing she is growing up too.
My mother and I have cried,laughed, and spent hours in conversation. I would not say we are the closest- not even close, but I love my mother, and I hope her Birthday is amazing-
happy Fourth Of July/Birthday mom. Enjoy the fireworks- that are put on JUST for you. <3
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Day 14
Ok. Im going to be completely honest, today was hard. I litterly bawled hard today. I miss Jacob so much, i did talk to my sister.. Who i shared cute quirks my boyy does, and I realized something- Jacob loves me and misses me just as much as i love and miss him. I realized.. Hes giving me strength just like im giving him strength, he left his heart in the palm of my hand as i did the same for him. So in the midst of my emotional withdrawls, i found out i am on the verge of being very ill due to mt weight- i am loosing weight rapidly.. And its getting, beyond not healthy, anyway, i cried again because my boyfriend wasnt available to take my pain and worries.. :( sadness. Anywy, my dads BestFriend and his daughter Ciara came over about 11:45, well i was hungry.. And we ha pancakes, Yes. I sarcastically asked my dad if i was allowed- to my dismay, he said YES!!! so i made pancakes at Midnight, to make it better- THEY WERE PURPLE!!!!:D ahhh, they were really yummy! Pancakes ARE an amazing comfort food.. I feel so much morr relaxed after eating hotcakes and jamming to Tenth North Avenue(: now, to bed i go so i can get up for Church tomorrow - Becca
~ Colors~
Hey Readers, so I decided to post a humorous story before I got down to business in my serious blog, I sent this story to about 8 friends after it happened, ALL of them assured me they LEGIT L(aughed)O(ut)L(oud)'ed.
Ok so my little brother is 7, and frankilly, he's my BestFriend too. I do not care if he is 7 years younger than me, our bond is unbreakable. Anyway,I am getting off subject, the story begins in my kitchen..
We were discussing my hair, I am a very very dirty blonde. ;) (Lol I mean, I am almost brown, but its blonde, I swear!) And I was telling him I was a dirty blonde.. And the conversation went on, and he didn't understand what 'dirty blonde' meant. He thinks there is blonde,brown,red..ect. Forget the different shades of hair, hair color is hair color to him. Well about 9:00pm last night, Carl was laying in my bed with me watching me write my story about Fireflies.(I might post it, I think its a very cute inspiring story..:) ) :
Me: Carl, your very tan!!!! (Talking about his skin color..Obviously)
Carl: *looks at his arm, then me* No wayy, I am just a really dirty white!
Me: *Bursts into hysterical laughter* Carl!!!! Hahaha!!
Carl: It will probably be clean white when I take a shower.. (Confused by my laughter)
Me: Carl, I love you! :)
Oh, it was pure epicness! Definitely made my night, took my mind off of Jacob and another issue, and it filled my heart with a desire to be with my brother. The bond of a brother and sister is indescribable, Especially when your not afraid to hold hands on the way to the ice-cream shop uptown, when you can beat the crap out of each other and sit in each others laps saying "I love you this much" as we are throwing punches. Yes, Our bond is amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. <3
Ok so my little brother is 7, and frankilly, he's my BestFriend too. I do not care if he is 7 years younger than me, our bond is unbreakable. Anyway,I am getting off subject, the story begins in my kitchen..
We were discussing my hair, I am a very very dirty blonde. ;) (Lol I mean, I am almost brown, but its blonde, I swear!) And I was telling him I was a dirty blonde.. And the conversation went on, and he didn't understand what 'dirty blonde' meant. He thinks there is blonde,brown,red..ect. Forget the different shades of hair, hair color is hair color to him. Well about 9:00pm last night, Carl was laying in my bed with me watching me write my story about Fireflies.(I might post it, I think its a very cute inspiring story..:) ) :
Me: Carl, your very tan!!!! (Talking about his skin color..Obviously)
Carl: *looks at his arm, then me* No wayy, I am just a really dirty white!
Me: *Bursts into hysterical laughter* Carl!!!! Hahaha!!
Carl: It will probably be clean white when I take a shower.. (Confused by my laughter)
Me: Carl, I love you! :)
Oh, it was pure epicness! Definitely made my night, took my mind off of Jacob and another issue, and it filled my heart with a desire to be with my brother. The bond of a brother and sister is indescribable, Especially when your not afraid to hold hands on the way to the ice-cream shop uptown, when you can beat the crap out of each other and sit in each others laps saying "I love you this much" as we are throwing punches. Yes, Our bond is amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. <3
Day 15.
Oh My Gosh, Readers, I am so sorry for not posting 'Day 15' Of My '16 Days Blog'. Anyway, here is yesterday's blog, and I promise to try harder to post my posts. :P
Ohk, So frankilly, I delt with his absence COMPLETELY different yesterday. I went to WWW.Areopostle.Com to look up the cost of his future hoodie, and of course, my luck..the only Orange hoodie they have is the most expensive one! The other hoodie in a bright blue,white,and red are all $20, but the freaking Orange one is $45. Im starting my Summer job, tomorrow, so I will be able to raise a few bucks that way, and being the most amazing girlfriend he could ever dream of having.. I am going to use that money to buy him the hoodie, even though I am saving up for a pair of shoes. (Ehem, they are smexxxy DC's.!!!) So anyway, I looked up the cost, and was curious about Homecoming dresses, so I looked up Homecoming dresses. (Can't you FEEL the excitement I am ALREADY feeling for Homecoming??!?!?!?! :P) I found some really cute ones :) I looked up Wedding dresses too. (It's not my fault the website I was on had every kind of dress imaginable on it! :P) Well after that, his name stayed out of my head. (I am so so so proud of myself!) well..till about Midnight today. (We are counting it as yesterday, because to me..'today' doesn't start till I wake up in the morning. :P) One of my friends brought up a very sexual subject.. XD Well me, being lonely.. I started to daydream of what I wanted to do with him. (It was not THAT sexual!:P I promise.) So I got all sad that I couldn't kiss him for 15 more days.. And then I got sad, then I smiled because I thought about the surprise, and how romantic our kisses are going to be :) So although I dealt with his absence differently, I do admit (With no embarrassment!) that I thoroughly enjoyed my coping strategy! ;D No, I have 2 other blog posts to post, so I must go, LOVE YOU GUYS!, And Jacob..Praying and Hoping he's having fun, and missing me;) Jk. Jk. :D
Ohk, So frankilly, I delt with his absence COMPLETELY different yesterday. I went to WWW.Areopostle.Com to look up the cost of his future hoodie, and of course, my luck..the only Orange hoodie they have is the most expensive one! The other hoodie in a bright blue,white,and red are all $20, but the freaking Orange one is $45. Im starting my Summer job, tomorrow, so I will be able to raise a few bucks that way, and being the most amazing girlfriend he could ever dream of having.. I am going to use that money to buy him the hoodie, even though I am saving up for a pair of shoes. (Ehem, they are smexxxy DC's.!!!) So anyway, I looked up the cost, and was curious about Homecoming dresses, so I looked up Homecoming dresses. (Can't you FEEL the excitement I am ALREADY feeling for Homecoming??!?!?!?! :P) I found some really cute ones :) I looked up Wedding dresses too. (It's not my fault the website I was on had every kind of dress imaginable on it! :P) Well after that, his name stayed out of my head. (I am so so so proud of myself!) well..till about Midnight today. (We are counting it as yesterday, because to me..'today' doesn't start till I wake up in the morning. :P) One of my friends brought up a very sexual subject.. XD Well me, being lonely.. I started to daydream of what I wanted to do with him. (It was not THAT sexual!:P I promise.) So I got all sad that I couldn't kiss him for 15 more days.. And then I got sad, then I smiled because I thought about the surprise, and how romantic our kisses are going to be :) So although I dealt with his absence differently, I do admit (With no embarrassment!) that I thoroughly enjoyed my coping strategy! ;D No, I have 2 other blog posts to post, so I must go, LOVE YOU GUYS!, And Jacob..Praying and Hoping he's having fun, and missing me;) Jk. Jk. :D
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day 16.
Hey Readers- so I was supposed to post this last night, but your blog poster was distracted by a Birthday card for her mom, :) Anyway. Here is my blog post for ~16 Days~
As you guys [should] know, Jacob took a flight early yesterday morning with his Youth Group for a mission's trip in New York, And I told you guys I was going to blog everyday about how I feel about it and how I am coping with his absence in my everyday life.
I stayed up till about 1am yesterday morning, and I was determined to stay up till I was sure he was ON his flight (Which by the way, I wasn't exactly sure WHEN that even was..) Well I fell asleep, anyway I woke up about 10:45 (EARLY for me!!!!!!) I woke up and went on with life, and then I started to miss him, so I texted up a couple friends telling them stories about him that relaxed me. Then as a joke, I told 3 of my Best Friends that they were going to be in my wedding! :P So I basically coped throughout the day thinking about marrying him. :] I am praying so much for his safety, and I am still jealous, I bet New York is GORGEOUS! Especially at night.. And I wonder if he saw/is going to see Ground Zero.. Hmm, I pray he is having fun and that he is being SAFE and not doing anything stupid..
OH MY GOSH! SUE ME!, I forgot to tell you the BEST part of my day!! :O
Ohk, So this guy says he's 'in love with me' but when he said that.. he told me he still had feelings for his ex.. MY OPINION::::::::::
If you really LOVE someone, its physically/emotionally IMPOSSIBLE to have ANY feelings for ANYONE else besides the person your claiming to love. (I LOVE Jacob. :P)
So I got really mad and explained he can't love me then if he liked his ex still..and he tried telling me that I liked him..so I didn't love Jacob.. DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FREAKING P.O I WAS?!?! No. I got REALLY mad...and then something in my heart and mind sparked an idea- Jacob always shows me how much he loves me, and he is trying impossibly hard in our relationship, and I should try harder then I have been to make sure he knows without NO doubts that I love him. Soo I came up with some creative ideas to prove that to him on July 16, 2011. (The day he gets back :) )
IDEA UNO: I was going to sit in a box in his room..and pop out when he walked in. <3 ..but uhmm..I dont know what time he gets home :P
IDEA DOS: I am going to spend the night at my Best Friend's house. (Who lives like a mile from him. :) ) and I am going to walk to his house..and sit in his backyard and say "Hey babe, Can I come over?..Too late im on my way but I am lost..Come outside and wait for me to get there" and I am going to surprise him with an Orange Aeropostle hoodie :D
^ IDEA DOS, is the one I am going to do(: Its going to be completely epic! <3
As you guys [should] know, Jacob took a flight early yesterday morning with his Youth Group for a mission's trip in New York, And I told you guys I was going to blog everyday about how I feel about it and how I am coping with his absence in my everyday life.
I stayed up till about 1am yesterday morning, and I was determined to stay up till I was sure he was ON his flight (Which by the way, I wasn't exactly sure WHEN that even was..) Well I fell asleep, anyway I woke up about 10:45 (EARLY for me!!!!!!) I woke up and went on with life, and then I started to miss him, so I texted up a couple friends telling them stories about him that relaxed me. Then as a joke, I told 3 of my Best Friends that they were going to be in my wedding! :P So I basically coped throughout the day thinking about marrying him. :] I am praying so much for his safety, and I am still jealous, I bet New York is GORGEOUS! Especially at night.. And I wonder if he saw/is going to see Ground Zero.. Hmm, I pray he is having fun and that he is being SAFE and not doing anything stupid..
OH MY GOSH! SUE ME!, I forgot to tell you the BEST part of my day!! :O
Ohk, So this guy says he's 'in love with me' but when he said that.. he told me he still had feelings for his ex.. MY OPINION::::::::::
If you really LOVE someone, its physically/emotionally IMPOSSIBLE to have ANY feelings for ANYONE else besides the person your claiming to love. (I LOVE Jacob. :P)
So I got really mad and explained he can't love me then if he liked his ex still..and he tried telling me that I liked him..so I didn't love Jacob.. DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FREAKING P.O I WAS?!?! No. I got REALLY mad...and then something in my heart and mind sparked an idea- Jacob always shows me how much he loves me, and he is trying impossibly hard in our relationship, and I should try harder then I have been to make sure he knows without NO doubts that I love him. Soo I came up with some creative ideas to prove that to him on July 16, 2011. (The day he gets back :) )
IDEA UNO: I was going to sit in a box in his room..and pop out when he walked in. <3 ..but uhmm..I dont know what time he gets home :P
IDEA DOS: I am going to spend the night at my Best Friend's house. (Who lives like a mile from him. :) ) and I am going to walk to his house..and sit in his backyard and say "Hey babe, Can I come over?..Too late im on my way but I am lost..Come outside and wait for me to get there" and I am going to surprise him with an Orange Aeropostle hoodie :D
^ IDEA DOS, is the one I am going to do(: Its going to be completely epic! <3
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
16 Days
Ohmygosh!! Readers, the next 16 days will be so long for me!!:( my boyfriend Jacob, just called me, to tell me:
baby, i love you so so so much, and your the best thing in my world, and im going to miss you so much, im going to New York for 16 days, for a Youth Conferance for church..
We talked for 20 minutes... Both of us in tears about this!!:( He then had to give hiz phone to his mom, who just texted me:
Hey Becca, this is Jacobs mother, he asked me to please tell you that he loves you so much and is going to miss you greatly. He promises to text you the second he lands in Ohio on the 16th.
Here i am, FREAKING OUT that my love is going to be in an airplane, i will be praying impossibly hard for his trip, I am at the same time jealous of him for going to New York. I have ALWAYS wanted to see New York. *sigh* in 4 hours.. My boyfriend wil be on his way to Detroit Airport. I love him so much and I already miss him, i have a countdown of numbers already on my wall, and i already am prepared for an extra blog. I love you baby, have a safe trip, lots of hugs/kisses, i wish i could say godbye to you atthe airport, but our goodbye made me cry happy/sad tears. I love you.
This blog is called 16 days. I will post 16 blog posts about how i am dealing with the absense of my boyfriend, along with my daily blog- these reLly arent formal as the other ones arent- NOTE--- i am doing these ones at night on my iPod.. And there mght be excesive typos, sorry. :( so yes. How do you guys deal with a long absense away from your boyfriend/girlfriend/spounce? (ITS 11:11!!!!)
baby, i love you so so so much, and your the best thing in my world, and im going to miss you so much, im going to New York for 16 days, for a Youth Conferance for church..
We talked for 20 minutes... Both of us in tears about this!!:( He then had to give hiz phone to his mom, who just texted me:
Hey Becca, this is Jacobs mother, he asked me to please tell you that he loves you so much and is going to miss you greatly. He promises to text you the second he lands in Ohio on the 16th.
Here i am, FREAKING OUT that my love is going to be in an airplane, i will be praying impossibly hard for his trip, I am at the same time jealous of him for going to New York. I have ALWAYS wanted to see New York. *sigh* in 4 hours.. My boyfriend wil be on his way to Detroit Airport. I love him so much and I already miss him, i have a countdown of numbers already on my wall, and i already am prepared for an extra blog. I love you baby, have a safe trip, lots of hugs/kisses, i wish i could say godbye to you atthe airport, but our goodbye made me cry happy/sad tears. I love you.
This blog is called 16 days. I will post 16 blog posts about how i am dealing with the absense of my boyfriend, along with my daily blog- these reLly arent formal as the other ones arent- NOTE--- i am doing these ones at night on my iPod.. And there mght be excesive typos, sorry. :( so yes. How do you guys deal with a long absense away from your boyfriend/girlfriend/spounce? (ITS 11:11!!!!)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
My Best Friend.
My best friend might be shy, or my best friend might say hi.
My best friend might be seven, or my best friend might be in heaven.
My best friend might be a boy, or my best friend might like to buy a new toy.
My Best Friend might be little, or my best friend might be trying to learn to play the fiddle.
My best friend might might be smart, or my best friend might be trying something tart.
My best friend might be tall, or my best friend might be trying to fall.
My best friend might be trying math, or my best friend might be taking a bath.
My best friend might be my brother, or my best friend might have come from my mother.
I don't know who or where your best friend is- but my best friend is my brother.
He is 7 years old, and he is the best thing in my life. He gives me to courage I need to go through everyday.
Carlos- I love you so much buddy. <3
My best friend might be seven, or my best friend might be in heaven.
My best friend might be a boy, or my best friend might like to buy a new toy.
My Best Friend might be little, or my best friend might be trying to learn to play the fiddle.
My best friend might might be smart, or my best friend might be trying something tart.
My best friend might be tall, or my best friend might be trying to fall.
My best friend might be trying math, or my best friend might be taking a bath.
My best friend might be my brother, or my best friend might have come from my mother.
I don't know who or where your best friend is- but my best friend is my brother.
He is 7 years old, and he is the best thing in my life. He gives me to courage I need to go through everyday.
Carlos- I love you so much buddy. <3
~Loosing Doesn't Mean Forgetting.~
Hey Readers, So a few of my readers have e-mailed me some questions, and I would like to share the questions, and obviously my answers!
Question One:Where did the idea of your Blog title come from?
Answer: To be honest, it took me a while to come up with a title I liked- I came up with it because I was thinking about how I lost Javan(My 1st love, if you haven't read my other blog stories..) and I will NEVER be able to forget him. I was thinking about all the friends I have lost in Middle School, and the family members that I have lost, but that doesn't mean I have or will have to forget them. Most of my stories, are real life experiences that have made me stronger or are making me stronger, and I just thought it was an appropriate for my style of blogging.! :) Great question!! :D
Question Two: What did you see in Javan??
Answer: Ah, Good question. I really really don't know what sparked my heart that summer. I was just like, whoa, I like him! And He is GORGEOUS! He's got the Justin Bieber hair, the gorgeous blue eyes, and a cute tummy. :P So I thought he was sexy. (Mind you, he didn't get his sexy-ness till the summer before 8th grade. :P Thats when he stopped tucking in his shirts. XD) and I realized he was ALWAYS there for me, he ALWAYS let me brag to him about how amazing I thought Timmy was, even though I knew he liked me and Timmy didn't. Like, I DID ask Timmy out once, and Javan supported me every minute of the way, even when Timmy rejected me. So I guess it finally hit me that he was one of the sweetest guys ever, and I couldn't judge him based on popularity. I still think he's one of the sweetest guys ever. He has apologized to me so many times for the breakup, and I have forgiven him. So I guess I just saw who he really was, and liked him. <3
Question Three: What is the hardest part of your relationship with Jacob, or in Long Distance Relationships altogehter?
Answer: Trust. It is VERY difficult to have a solid trust for the other person. Javan, is my one friend who I can talk to about LDR Trust because he has been in one also, and the girl cheated on him. So the answer is trust, its even harder because I have NOT met Jacob yet. (He lives 45 minutes away, but our schedules aren't matching up for a date to the movies.) So not knowing who he is in person, makes the relationship a ton more harder. If he is the same person as he is through text/phone, then I am not worried. So I am hoping for the best, because I do have very deep feelings for him, and I honestly believe my feelings will skyrocket (for the better!) when I finally meet him. I do not believe he is cheating on me, and I really hope he's being honest.
Question Four: What is your favorite song, Why?
Answer: I really can't answer this question!! :( I have SO many favorites right now. I will have to say 'Super Bass' by Nicki Manaj is in the top 5 because I recently learned how to rap the whole thing! :D Goo me!!! :D
Question Five: Would you take Javan back if he asked you?
Answer: Well, I couldn't be much happier then I am now with Jacob, so as of right now, No. If something major happened to me and Jacob, I might reconsider, but I'm highly doubting a breakup.
Question Six: What is one quality that is important in picking a guy?
Answer: THE ABILITY TO MAKE ME SMILE! :D :D <3 Honestly, the simple things make me smile, and I think it is very important that a guy can make me smile. <3 Things like saying 'i love you' or calling me cute names, or sending cute flirty texts can make me smile. So yah, definitely in the top 3 of important qualities.
:) Thanks for asking that, it made me smile to think of what makes me smile! :D (And I didn't even start on the in-person ways to make me smile.. ;) )
Question Seven: What one quality do you love about YOURSELF.?
Answer: Ohhh boy. Umm, My ability to make people smile, and my ability to help people with their problems. (I chose 2, is that alright?) When I make someone smile, then I feel like I made someone's day a little brighter, or I am easy to be fun around! I love making others smile.. and it usually isn't hard for me. <3 As for helping people with your problems, I swear that is my calling in life- to talk with people through their problems! (I'm considering a profession in this field!) I LOVE helping someone with their problems- it makes me feel so good to know someone will listen and follow my advice! (Readers, don't be afraid to e-mail me with a problem, I will give my 2 cents <3) So yes, I love these 2 qualities about myself! AMAZING question, this one was fun to answer. <3
These were today's questions, Thanks reader's for the questions!! If you have any questions/comments/ect.. then email me(: I would LOVE to hear from you guys! { Bigsister2one@yahoo.com }
Lots of love, Becca.
Question One:Where did the idea of your Blog title come from?
Answer: To be honest, it took me a while to come up with a title I liked- I came up with it because I was thinking about how I lost Javan(My 1st love, if you haven't read my other blog stories..) and I will NEVER be able to forget him. I was thinking about all the friends I have lost in Middle School, and the family members that I have lost, but that doesn't mean I have or will have to forget them. Most of my stories, are real life experiences that have made me stronger or are making me stronger, and I just thought it was an appropriate for my style of blogging.! :) Great question!! :D
Question Two: What did you see in Javan??
Answer: Ah, Good question. I really really don't know what sparked my heart that summer. I was just like, whoa, I like him! And He is GORGEOUS! He's got the Justin Bieber hair, the gorgeous blue eyes, and a cute tummy. :P So I thought he was sexy. (Mind you, he didn't get his sexy-ness till the summer before 8th grade. :P Thats when he stopped tucking in his shirts. XD) and I realized he was ALWAYS there for me, he ALWAYS let me brag to him about how amazing I thought Timmy was, even though I knew he liked me and Timmy didn't. Like, I DID ask Timmy out once, and Javan supported me every minute of the way, even when Timmy rejected me. So I guess it finally hit me that he was one of the sweetest guys ever, and I couldn't judge him based on popularity. I still think he's one of the sweetest guys ever. He has apologized to me so many times for the breakup, and I have forgiven him. So I guess I just saw who he really was, and liked him. <3
Question Three: What is the hardest part of your relationship with Jacob, or in Long Distance Relationships altogehter?
Answer: Trust. It is VERY difficult to have a solid trust for the other person. Javan, is my one friend who I can talk to about LDR Trust because he has been in one also, and the girl cheated on him. So the answer is trust, its even harder because I have NOT met Jacob yet. (He lives 45 minutes away, but our schedules aren't matching up for a date to the movies.) So not knowing who he is in person, makes the relationship a ton more harder. If he is the same person as he is through text/phone, then I am not worried. So I am hoping for the best, because I do have very deep feelings for him, and I honestly believe my feelings will skyrocket (for the better!) when I finally meet him. I do not believe he is cheating on me, and I really hope he's being honest.
Question Four: What is your favorite song, Why?
Answer: I really can't answer this question!! :( I have SO many favorites right now. I will have to say 'Super Bass' by Nicki Manaj is in the top 5 because I recently learned how to rap the whole thing! :D Goo me!!! :D
Question Five: Would you take Javan back if he asked you?
Answer: Well, I couldn't be much happier then I am now with Jacob, so as of right now, No. If something major happened to me and Jacob, I might reconsider, but I'm highly doubting a breakup.
Question Six: What is one quality that is important in picking a guy?
Answer: THE ABILITY TO MAKE ME SMILE! :D :D <3 Honestly, the simple things make me smile, and I think it is very important that a guy can make me smile. <3 Things like saying 'i love you' or calling me cute names, or sending cute flirty texts can make me smile. So yah, definitely in the top 3 of important qualities.
:) Thanks for asking that, it made me smile to think of what makes me smile! :D (And I didn't even start on the in-person ways to make me smile.. ;) )
Question Seven: What one quality do you love about YOURSELF.?
Answer: Ohhh boy. Umm, My ability to make people smile, and my ability to help people with their problems. (I chose 2, is that alright?) When I make someone smile, then I feel like I made someone's day a little brighter, or I am easy to be fun around! I love making others smile.. and it usually isn't hard for me. <3 As for helping people with your problems, I swear that is my calling in life- to talk with people through their problems! (I'm considering a profession in this field!) I LOVE helping someone with their problems- it makes me feel so good to know someone will listen and follow my advice! (Readers, don't be afraid to e-mail me with a problem, I will give my 2 cents <3) So yes, I love these 2 qualities about myself! AMAZING question, this one was fun to answer. <3
These were today's questions, Thanks reader's for the questions!! If you have any questions/comments/ect.. then email me(: I would LOVE to hear from you guys! { Bigsister2one@yahoo.com }
Lots of love, Becca.
Monday, June 27, 2011
I Hate The Homecoming Queen!
Girls- We ALL have had a moment, err moments in our hectic lives where we don't feel beautiful. I was listening to my Pandora today, and a song- I Hate The Homecoming Queen[Emily Osmet] came on. It basically explains how Emily thinks the 'Homecoming Queen' at her school thinks she's all that and makes everyone else feel terrible about themselves. It's a VERY good song that can apply to ANY girl at any age, especially Highschool girls who try and try to be like the 'preppy,popular,'perfect' girl' at their school. I know I have tried to match my looks to those girls at my school. TERRIBLE MISTAKE! DO NOT DO THAT!!!! Although some girls seem 'perfect' , there is NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION! This blog post is all about MY experiences about 'those girls' from 6th grade-8th grade.
Hey, So I don't know how many of my readers are comfortable with their looks. If you are, then I admire you! It took me a long 4 years to accept my imperfections. I am fortunate and never had to worry about my weight. I have my daddy's metabolism. I get really tired when people tell me "Oh you never have to get teased about your weight, your so skinny". Wrong. WRONG! Our school lunches are REALLY nasty, and most of the time I never ate them. So many people told me I starved myself and that I just did it to get attention. Wrong. The truth- I eat too much. I am such a junk-food-addict its crazy. It's really annoying how just because I happen to be thin, I get made fun of. Then, we have the girls who aren't size zero, who get made fun of for being 'overweight.' Excuse me, but I think EVERYONE needs to shut their mouth about who's too thin or too 'chubby' (I HATE the term 'fat', I REFUSE to use it.) until they can tell the public WHAT IS THE PERFECT WEIGHT? Why is it, that everyone is so quick too lash out at someone's weight to break someone's self esteem. Weight DOES NOT matter. If any of my readers are self-catious about your weight- DO NOT BE! Your beautiful no matter what your jean size is.
Another issue is having a perfect face- this is where my self-catious side comes out. I wear glasses and desperately need braces. I can not begin to tell you how much I have been teased for the fact that I need braces. It took me 4 years to finally stop caring. When I first started attending Public School (6th grade.) I got made fun of my imperfect smile..and I went home CRYING. I am now a Freshman and accept the fact I have an imperfect smile. I now am capable of believing someone when they tell me I am beautiful,cute,or pretty. In Middle School, Someone told me I was beautiful, and I fought with them. I didn't look like Maddie or Sarah or Abby and I desperately tried to look like them. I realize they are not more beautiful than me, we are equally beautiful. EVERY girl NEEDS to know and accept they are beautiful NO MATTER WHAT!!!! So what if you have acne, doesn't everyone? (Yes, even the girls with 'perfect' faces get undeniable zits at times!) It doesn't matter if you wear glasses- some pairs look extremely sexy and classy. Braces? I know so many people who WISH they had braces because they are cute. I love the look of braces- they are adorable, AND you get to pick your own colors- BRACES SHOW PERSONALITY!!!. Perfect smile? Go you! SHOW IT! Dont brag, but ITS OK TO BE PROUD! Another thing girls, its OK not to wear a bazillion pounds of makeup. So many guys find girls 'sexy' because they have a MASK of makeup on. I personally HATE foundation. I mean, I find it acceptable to wear on special occasions.. but I think natural beauty is much more gorgeous than a fake face. [NO GIRL IS BARBIE!] I wear eyeliner,mascara(Sometimes..I think 'long'lashes are kinda ugly..:P) and lipgloss. Wha-Lah! You have a pretty face still showing your natrual-ness.
I will continue this story later, I must go eat. Love You. <3
Hey, So I don't know how many of my readers are comfortable with their looks. If you are, then I admire you! It took me a long 4 years to accept my imperfections. I am fortunate and never had to worry about my weight. I have my daddy's metabolism. I get really tired when people tell me "Oh you never have to get teased about your weight, your so skinny". Wrong. WRONG! Our school lunches are REALLY nasty, and most of the time I never ate them. So many people told me I starved myself and that I just did it to get attention. Wrong. The truth- I eat too much. I am such a junk-food-addict its crazy. It's really annoying how just because I happen to be thin, I get made fun of. Then, we have the girls who aren't size zero, who get made fun of for being 'overweight.' Excuse me, but I think EVERYONE needs to shut their mouth about who's too thin or too 'chubby' (I HATE the term 'fat', I REFUSE to use it.) until they can tell the public WHAT IS THE PERFECT WEIGHT? Why is it, that everyone is so quick too lash out at someone's weight to break someone's self esteem. Weight DOES NOT matter. If any of my readers are self-catious about your weight- DO NOT BE! Your beautiful no matter what your jean size is.
Another issue is having a perfect face- this is where my self-catious side comes out. I wear glasses and desperately need braces. I can not begin to tell you how much I have been teased for the fact that I need braces. It took me 4 years to finally stop caring. When I first started attending Public School (6th grade.) I got made fun of my imperfect smile..and I went home CRYING. I am now a Freshman and accept the fact I have an imperfect smile. I now am capable of believing someone when they tell me I am beautiful,cute,or pretty. In Middle School, Someone told me I was beautiful, and I fought with them. I didn't look like Maddie or Sarah or Abby and I desperately tried to look like them. I realize they are not more beautiful than me, we are equally beautiful. EVERY girl NEEDS to know and accept they are beautiful NO MATTER WHAT!!!! So what if you have acne, doesn't everyone? (Yes, even the girls with 'perfect' faces get undeniable zits at times!) It doesn't matter if you wear glasses- some pairs look extremely sexy and classy. Braces? I know so many people who WISH they had braces because they are cute. I love the look of braces- they are adorable, AND you get to pick your own colors- BRACES SHOW PERSONALITY!!!. Perfect smile? Go you! SHOW IT! Dont brag, but ITS OK TO BE PROUD! Another thing girls, its OK not to wear a bazillion pounds of makeup. So many guys find girls 'sexy' because they have a MASK of makeup on. I personally HATE foundation. I mean, I find it acceptable to wear on special occasions.. but I think natural beauty is much more gorgeous than a fake face. [NO GIRL IS BARBIE!] I wear eyeliner,mascara(Sometimes..I think 'long'lashes are kinda ugly..:P) and lipgloss. Wha-Lah! You have a pretty face still showing your natrual-ness.
I will continue this story later, I must go eat. Love You. <3
Sunday, June 26, 2011
~LOL Doesn't Always Mean 'Laugh Out Loud'~
I went on my daily walk, just a few minutes ago..and I was walking and a song that reminded me on my ex came on- AKA my first kiss. The song was 'Just The Way You Are' by Bruno Mars. He caused me so much pain. Let me tell you the story of Javan- please know he is NOT a bad person, hes one of the sweetest people I think I have ever met! It all started in 5th grade- I was home schooled at the time due to an unfixable incident at my old school. [The incident is far to personal to post on here...:/] Anyway, We were both homeschooled. On my Birthday, we had to go take OAA's at the mall. (Ohio Achievement Assessments) Well here's about 9 5th grade students in a little room in the mall. We all got assigned seats. I got seated next to Javan- the most annoying, weirdest kid in the room. I mean- Here he was(5th grade) reading Harry Potter and chewing his gum like a freaking cow!! I mean, I laugh at it now.. but then, I was so annoyed I thought I was going to die! It was terrible! He had one quality most guys DON'T have though- he was one of the sweetest guys ever. He talked to me, and I talked back- to be nice. After the mall, I didn't think I would ever see him again. I was wrong. After begging- my mom finally let me go back to public school. I started re-attending public school in 6th grade, the 1st year of Junior High. The night of our orientation, we got to see our lockers,classroom, and our classmates. Somehow, me and Javan got side-by-side lockers. He didn't look much different from when I had seen him at the mall, so I said "Um hey, I think I know you. Were you homeschooled last year?" and he said "Yes. Your Rebecca." and we had our first REAL conversation. I was thrilled to know at least one person before starting public school! Well 6th grade started..and Javan had a VERY obvious crush on me- at the time, I was too busy falling for Timmy. Timmy was 'perfect' Every girl's dream.. He wasn't argent..he was the sweetest guy I have ever met. We ended up in Study Hall together- and he sat across from me and said "Hey I am Timmy." and he was one of my first friends. (This was the first day of 6th grade.) Anyway, Javan had a huge crush on me. He asked me to the lock-in dance. (We had lock-ins, and at the lock-ins we had dances).. I said yes, I was very thrilled to be honest!!! Well the lock-in came around and I went, all excited. Well. At the time, Javan was a video-game freak, and at the lock-in, there was a game room for the gamers. When it was time for the dance, I went to find my date..and he wouldn't leave the freaking room! He said he 'didn't dance.' and I ended up sitting in the hallway crying. I broke up with Javan- just because he wouldn't dance with me. So the summer came..and I really don't remember what happened. I don't anything did.. But 7th grade came. We again, had side-by-side lockers..and his love for me was deeper then it had been in 6th grade. At the time- I was OBSESSED with Timmy.. I wouldn't date ANYONE because I wanted Timmy so bad. EVERY DAY(No sarcasm..) Javan asked me out. He told me I was gorgeous, and that he liked me so so so much. I thought he was the most annoying boy in the universe- because he didn't have status like Timmy. That year, I got a teddy bear from Timmy.. because I asked him if he would get me something for Valentines Day. I found out he didn't buy the bear.. it came from a friend. (Did I mention the nose was eaten off the freaking thing?) well the next day.. I got a stuffed dog for Valentines Day from Javan. He bought it with his own money. He told me he would never give up. Finally I said yes, and broke up with him when he called me 'sweetie' (I was really stupid..) Well again- summer came around..and this time, I realized I had a crush on Javan.. so one day I got on Facebook and randomly said to Javan "Javan! I like you!" He was REALLY surprised by the comment, and he asked me out.. and I said yes. At the time, My mom was weirded out and hated the idea of 'summer dating' and made me break up with Javan. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.. It really really was. Well, He took that as a sign to move on. 8th grade started. (Last year.) and I kept asking him out.. I imagine I asked him just as many times as he asked me. He said no every time. I can't blame him, I did the same thing to him. Well on December 10,2010, Our school held a dance. He had asked me to go one week before the dance. His girlfriend had dumped him and he asked me. I said yes. The minute he sent the text..I sat in my kitchen- and screamed. (The kind of scream that people scream going down the first big hill of a roller coaster.) My brother was freaked out, he kept asking me if I was OK. (He swore I was hurt or upset!!) I explained to him I had a date for the dance. Well after the dance, one of my BestFriends was having a Birthday party- strictly for couples. (Total makeout session!!!) All week, Javan, Courtney(My BestFriend), and Javan's best friend- Joe kept taunting me! They were saying how I had a HUGE surprise for Friday. I knew what it was, I couldn't wait. I tried getting him to ask me out before- so I could have my first kiss at the dance, and he kept saying he wanted it special. So I waited. Finally- Friday came, school went fast due to a 2 hour delay, and then the dance was finally here. I hung out with Javan,Courtney,and Joe to whole time. I honestly was 100% convinced he was going to ask me out AT the dance.. Well slow songs came and went..and he held me close and we danced..and he didn't ask me out. I texted Courtney as we were dancing BEGGING her to tell me when he planned on asking me. She swore she didn't know. When we weren't dancing.. Javan and I sat in the bleachers.. He ran his fingers up my leg(I was in skinny jeans.. So nothing was gonna happen!!) and he kissed my neck and we held hands. I don't understand how we DIDN'T get in trouble.. We were totally being all PDA-ish in front of the teachers, they didn't seem to care. Well the dance came and went..and I still had no kiss- or boyfriend. (Kissing on the neck didn't count.!!!) So I went to Courtney's house with her, and we talked about how I had a blast with Javan and what not. And she told her fun with Joe. Sense we had an hour to kill before the rest of the couples got to the party..We put short shorts on and sweats. (Haha, long story..) We talked and set up for the party- blankets so the couples could cuddle and hold hands without her parents knowing. It was all planned out. The time came, the rest of the couples showed up, and it was time to party! I got nervous, I didn't know what to expect for a kiss. Well, as Javan knows.. I have an obsession with sitting on the floor.. and so he was being a huge tease. He would play pool with Tyler(The only single person there!!) and then he would come trip me and make me fall on the floor, then he would play with my hair, 'go in for the kiss', back away, and go play pool again. I swear he did this 8 times before he finally pushed me to lay down, and then he lay next to me, and then he whispered (REALLY softly and gently) "Will You Go Out With Me?" and I whispered back "yes." and he layed on top of me, and kissed me really gentle. My first kiss was in the dark, laying on the floor at a party. I felt so numb it was crazy. I didn't move or moments, just kept thinking "Ohmygosh.. Javan took my first kiss..and i love him!" and I watched him play pool, and every so often, he would come over and kiss me again..and again..and again. Every time just as soft as the last. Then he pulled me up and all 4 couples squeezed ourselves on the small couch and cuddled. Javan and I locked hands and he kissed me hand,my cheek, my neck, and my lips.It was perfect. then he sat me on a stool against the wall, and we kissed several more times. he even managed to tickle my tummy softly. Then we all decided to play hide-&-Seek in the dark, oh that was a good time. We all hid as couples and had a ton of fun. It was amazing. We moved from the floor, to the couch, to the stool, to the pool-table..and it was so much fun. I left the party feeling like I could fly. Well I got so many i love you's, and notes and texts saying everything wonderful about me. I felt so perfect. Beautiful. I felt like I had a purpose for living. I can't lie- I felt like I would last forever9or at least a few months with him). On our one week, we argued who would stay up till Midnight to say Happy One Week first. I won. Then he swore he would stay up on our One Month. Well our 2 weeks landed when we had Christmas Break. (Actually- our 2 weeks was on Christmas Eve) We talked till we passed out. On Christmas, I got the biggest chock of my life- Javan broke up with me. (Yes, On December 25, 2010.) I sat in my room bawling harder then I have in my life. Well dinnertime came, and I pushed my tears inside of me. Then my mom asked me what was wrong, and I just lost it. I was bawling at the dinner table on Christmas..and she knew. She told me I could skip dinner. (I was so not hungry..and wasn't hungry for like the next 3 weeks!) So I sat watching everyone eat. Nobody talked to me. (Not to be rude, but everyone knew.) So here I was, Lost the love of my life on Christmas. Well, the next day.(Sunday) my mom let me skip Church and I stayed home. I stayed in bed and cried until I realized I had to change my relationship status on Facebook.. So I walked down to the computer and saw that he had already changed his.. I lost it. I read the comments and cried that everyone seemed HAPPY! I changed mine, to single.. and I was sitting there crying..starring at my default picture- which was a photo of the 2 of us. (Obviously.). One week after the breakup, Javan told me to stay away from him. He deleted me off of Facebook, told me to never text him again, or to talk to hi mat school. It was the hardest thing ever. The rude comments he made about me. Like one day his best friend said something about kissing someone, and Javan said "Yah! I would kiss anyone in this hallway, oh except her.." looking at me, and he said her like I was a diseased animal or something. I cried over that, and many other things. Two months later- Javan and I were forced to be together due to a writing competition. I had broken up with my boyfriend(Yes, I did date someone else..I don't know why I said yes- there was NO feelings there WHATSOEVER!). like 3 days before the competition. He asked me on the way to the competition how things were with Nick. I said I broke up with him.. and we had our FIRST conversation in 2 months. It was awkward but it felt right. Well on the way home, I started to cry. I didn't even realize it, I just started to cry. Javan asked me what was wrong, and I was like "Why do you even care?" and hes like "Because I don't want you to be sad." and he came and sat in my seat.(We were on a bus.) and he made me show him my wrists. (He always swore to kill me if I cut, which I never wouldn't.) and I said I missed him..and he hugged me and said we could be friends with him. Ever sense February, we have been friends! He is still one of my BestFriends. It hurts knowing we will never be a couple again, but I am happy to have him in my life. I will ALWAYS have A TINY BIT of feelings for him. Every '10th day of the month, I smile.. and every 25th day, I cry. I miss him but I know he made me happy. I have learned to forgive him. He's an amazing person, and I know he will always be there for me. (And for those wondering about the song, Just The Way You Are, was our song.) Even though I have current boyfriend, I will never forget my first love. Who can? Well that's my little love story.
~December 10, 2010-December 25,2011~
Well I love you guys<3
~BeccaBoo.
~December 10, 2010-December 25,2011~
Well I love you guys<3
~BeccaBoo.
~Hazel Eyes.~
Today should be a happy day. I have been dating Jacob for a month, today. I should be happy. I am, just I have a lot on my mind right now. Last night I was with a group of ladies for a Scrapbooking Crop. I had a blast until I checked my phone at 8:31 to a text saying "Dont hate me for telling you this" from one of my best friends- Liz. I knew it had to do with Jacob, she tells me everything about him. (Did I mention I am in a long distance relationship with Jacob? Well. now you know..) I went to the bathroom so I could freely cry- I knew the news had to be bad. My eyes watered as I sent "He's breaking up with me..isn't he? </3" My heart pounded more violent then ever as I waited for her answer. "No, my friend said she saw him ask out another girl on Thursday. BECCA DONT BELIEVE IT BECAUSE SHE HONESTLY IS A LIAR" My tears fell hard, and fast. Here I am, sitting in the bathroom at a highschoool..crying harder then I have in a long time. Without thinking I texted my first love/ex/first kiss and said that I loved him.(As a brother.. but I didn't say brother..but I SWEAR thats what I was thinking- BROTHER) and he was just as thrown off my the comment as I was about my life at that moment. After that whole conversation I called Jacob, and he didn't answer. If it were not for the fact that I was sitting in a bathroom, and ANYONE could walk in at any moment and for the fact I was BAWLING..i would honestly have cussed him out right then and there. Instead, I just left a message saying "If you think its funny to break a girl's heart by cheating..your wrong." and I hung up and just cried harder. I was honestly more upset then I have been in a LONG time. About 10 minutes later, I called Jacob again.(Still crying.) and he answered:
Him: Hey.
Me: Hey. Why am I hearing rumors about you cheating on me? After I gave you my heart and told you I loved you..and MEANT it.
Him: Becca! No!! Why would I do that? Why are you even BELIEVING IT?!?!. I LOVE YOU!
Me: (Still crying) Im not. and I love you too
Him: You obviously are, and I swear I am not.
Me: Ok. *snifffles*
Him: Now I gotta go. I love you.
~Hangs up phone~
I HONESTLY don't think he's cheating, and I TRUST him with ALL my heart..but I am upset that the whole incident even had to happen. Its the first overly-emotional incident thats happened in the relationship. I learned that EVERY relationships going to have fights- fights that are easy to work through- and fights that look like is gonna end the relationship. Its 10X harder in a LDR. (Long distance relationship). I love him, and I trust him..It is just VERY difficult. Liz even told me not to believe it and that there is NO way he would do that. (SHE goes to school with him). Jacob and I are in a VERY deep relationship, and it would kill me to see an end to it. It feels right knowing that I wrote out my feelings about this and feeling more confident in this issue then I did this morning. I want to say HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY JACOB MICHAEL! I LOVE YOU!. I am ready to enjoy my one month with my boyfriend now.
Lots of Love~ Becca. <3
Him: Hey.
Me: Hey. Why am I hearing rumors about you cheating on me? After I gave you my heart and told you I loved you..and MEANT it.
Him: Becca! No!! Why would I do that? Why are you even BELIEVING IT?!?!. I LOVE YOU!
Me: (Still crying) Im not. and I love you too
Him: You obviously are, and I swear I am not.
Me: Ok. *snifffles*
Him: Now I gotta go. I love you.
~Hangs up phone~
I HONESTLY don't think he's cheating, and I TRUST him with ALL my heart..but I am upset that the whole incident even had to happen. Its the first overly-emotional incident thats happened in the relationship. I learned that EVERY relationships going to have fights- fights that are easy to work through- and fights that look like is gonna end the relationship. Its 10X harder in a LDR. (Long distance relationship). I love him, and I trust him..It is just VERY difficult. Liz even told me not to believe it and that there is NO way he would do that. (SHE goes to school with him). Jacob and I are in a VERY deep relationship, and it would kill me to see an end to it. It feels right knowing that I wrote out my feelings about this and feeling more confident in this issue then I did this morning. I want to say HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY JACOB MICHAEL! I LOVE YOU!. I am ready to enjoy my one month with my boyfriend now.
Lots of Love~ Becca. <3
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