Day Six

   Readers, Heyy <3

Ohk, so yesterday was a fun day... Hahaha..

I was thinking about everything I put Jacob through before I started to like him.. And I am not proud of how mean I was..but I was thinking about why guys liked me..and I came to this conclusion:

The story about Javan(The one I posted who knows how long ago..) showed you I was M E A N, and yet, Javan still liked me. Javan stood by my side, not once leaving my side.. He was there through every mean thing that I said and did, Yes it took me 2-3 years to realize it, but I did.

When I first started to Jacob, I pretended to be my friend's boyfriend.. that was a fail..After like 3 texts..I felt REALLY REALLY bad and then fessed up to who I really was, and how I knew Woodring. He forgave me, and we started to talk. We were friends, and He told me he liked me.. After what Javan put me through..I was NASTY.. Like after many fights..he told me: "If I can't have you, I don't want anyone." and I said "Guess you will be living a lonely life while I am with a ton of guys doing what I do best!" ...After a while of this torturing mean-ness. (He confessed that I put him in tears..many many times.) He threatened suicide a couple times.. and I told him each time "Good. I hope you do, I wouldn't care."  and I was just so mean!!! He threatened to cut my name into his wrist.. and I am so honestly surprised he didn't.. Well one night I was thinking about what I did to Javan, and how when I finally realized he LOVED me, that I almost lost my chance..and I didn't want to loose my chance with Jacob. I started to bawl, and Jacob ALWAYS told me he sleeps with his phone on vibrate, on his tummy so I could call him at any hour of the night. I called him at 1am one night/morning..BAWLING. I told him I was so so so sorry, and he forgave me..After several minutes of me apologizing and crying.. He said to me "Becca. I love you, and I wanted to know if you would ever want to be my baby girl?" I sat there in my dark room.. clearing away my tears and I said "I want to be your baby girl, right now..and how could you love me?" and he said to me "Your perfect, no matter how many imperfections you have..your still perfect to me. I forgive you and that pain is all worth it now that your mine, I Love You Becca Boo".. and I started to happy-cry.. and he assured me it was ohk, and that he loved me. Ever sinse that night.. I realize someone truely loves you when they have seen your WORST side, and still love you.. Jacob showed me what love was, and I love him for that. He is truely amazing..NOT ONCE has he EVER made me intentionally cry, NOT ONCE has he been nasty or mean to me.. NOT ONCE has he ever threaned  to leave. He is AMAZING, And I LOVE HIM..

I thought of this..because- for reasons I can not post..but the other person who likes me, was mean to me yesterday..when I showed him my nasty side, and yet h says he loves me.. and I don't believe the 'sweet words' he says because I believe he doesn't mean them.. I beleieve I found my prince Charming, and he is EVERYTHING to me.

I also was so so so excited yesterday, was my 1 week mark till I MEET JACOB! :D :D :D :D :D

My best friend, Allie, and her boyfriend, and I, and Jaco bare all goign to the city pool(: Im nervous..but OH SO EXCITED! :D :D :D :D :D

My other really good friend said he looks/is so so so so innocent, and I can't wait to feel/see his innocence. <3 Eeeeeep!!!! :) :) :) :)

Well, I love Jacob. :D

~Becca