Hey readers, so I have reasons for not finishing my 16 Days blog.. It doesn't even matter anyway... </3
So LAST Saturday Jacob was supposed to get home and call/text me..He didn't. I called and texted. No answer. ALL WEEK, I CRIED myself to sleep.. thinking "Omg. Something happened to him." and I was so so sad..This whole week, I cried.. a lot. I was depressed and feeling blue. :( Well on Friday, My best friend Lizzy texted him..and he said he was single. Mind you, he hasn't texted me since he said he loved me and goodbye before leaving for New York.. Well to try to make it better, Lizzy said it was the wrong number..
I called him yesterday, and he didn't answer. He called me back.. My phone was being stupid and wouldn't let me answer.. I texted him telling me to call me back.. Heres the conversation:
J: STOP TEXTING/CALLING ME!!!!
B: Wtf, WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! DID YOU FORGET WE WERE DATING?!?!
J: Stop texting me. Or I will block you.
B: What happened?! When the h*** did you break up with me?! </3 </3 </3 </3
J: Im blocking you.
B: We are dating though!!! :'( :'( :'(
J: NO WE ARE NOT!!!!!!
B: .....</3 what happened to forever?
J: Im blocking you.
I called him- sure enough.. he blocked my number.
I have NO idea when he decided to just 'dump me' but I had no idea... </3 I love how he didn't even have the guts to tell me it was over...apparently I was supposed to take a hint from 'the silent treatment.'..I also found out he was cheating on me. Go Him. I cried.. A LOT...but then I realized of the depression I WASTED because of Javan, and I forgot about that stupid boy(: I do not care what he does, who he dates, or what he thinks. I really do not care anymore. :) Matter of fact, Ive already been asked out 2 times.. and I like someone:) He even saved a picture of me to his phone(: (: (Call me pathetic, but I got all happy:D :P) One of my best friends is trying to convince me to ask him out because she thinks we 'are in love with each other'. :P but, Yeah. I am very happy I do not have to worry about the stress of an Long Distance Relationship anymore(: I forgave him, and forgot the relationship:) Go Me. Woot.. ok so..next order of buisness. :P
So I went to church this morning.. and I found out the worst news I could ever find out from my church....</3
My youth pastor and his wife are moving to Virginia in 3 weeks!!!!!! NOBODY knows how close I am to both of them.. My pastor read the note of resignation..and I started to bawl!! <////3 I will miss them so much!! My youth pastor hugged me for the first time..and I just wanted to cry in his arms. </3 They have helped me through SO MUCH, and they are gonna be G O N E. I know..I know..its called 'Facebook' and 'texting' but its not the same thing..!!!! SO yeah, this weeks been a hard, emotional one..but if I want the rainbow, i have to get through the storm. <3
Well I just want to thank my friends for being there for me the past couple of days:
Elizabeth: Your Facebook status, oh my gosh! I LOVE YOU!!! You helped me SO SO SO MUCH! Ahh,I love you! <3
Allie: Your the BEST sister I could EVER ASK FOR!!! You always know how to make it better. <3.. Your the one I go to for band-aids when I fall off my bike(NOT LITERALLY!:P) and OH MY GOSH, I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZZY!
Tony: Your an amazing best guy friend, brother, and amazing person. Thank You for the kind words and big long hug today, it felt so safe and amazing!. <3
Matthew: O.M.G. You make me smile ALL the time, and even though your a HORRIBLE physicologist, your an AMAZING FRIEND BECAUSE YOU MAKE MY DAY AMAZING!. Your great. :)
My blog is all about inspiration. Inspiring myself, others, and developing an individual. My stories will be stories of happiness,love,passion,trust,truth,desire,pain,hurt. This blog is deeper then emotions, it goes further down to a much deeper level. I will be completely honest in each blog post, and will give my all to make my blog show who I really am. If you would like me to write a specific topic- let me know at : Bigsister2one@yahoo.com
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Day Four
Soo knowing me, and less than 5 days till my sexy boy gets home.. Its time for ME to worry about his plane trip back home,:p soo at church.. We pray in small groups, i prayed with Roxanna(a young adult) and Lizzy(:
roxanna was making fun of my worrysum self about Jacobs flight... And she prays
"Help the young man Becca is developing feelings for to truely love Becca"
(Me and Lizzy laugh)
Lizzy prays "Help Jacob to get home from New York safely so Becca can finally quit freaking out!!"
(we start laughing harder- into tears)
i pray "Help Jacob to get home safe.. And i hope his plane doesnt like crash"
( i start crying frkm hystaric laughter)
yez, today was full of happiness and lsughter<3 it was AMAZING:)
roxanna was making fun of my worrysum self about Jacobs flight... And she prays
"Help the young man Becca is developing feelings for to truely love Becca"
(Me and Lizzy laugh)
Lizzy prays "Help Jacob to get home from New York safely so Becca can finally quit freaking out!!"
(we start laughing harder- into tears)
i pray "Help Jacob to get home safe.. And i hope his plane doesnt like crash"
( i start crying frkm hystaric laughter)
yez, today was full of happiness and lsughter<3 it was AMAZING:)
Day Five
Hyy Readers- sorry this is kinda late, by a day or two:p soo tuis ones short and sweet- i laughed.: i laughed a real, abb-killing laughing spazz(: i was talking to Lizzzzy(the girl Jacob goes to school with:p) and we were laughing about Jacobs "maturity"..:D it was AMAZING to just laugh at my boyfriend(: it made me smile, and i know i can grt through the next couplr days:)
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day Six
Readers, Heyy <3
Ohk, so yesterday was a fun day... Hahaha..
I was thinking about everything I put Jacob through before I started to like him.. And I am not proud of how mean I was..but I was thinking about why guys liked me..and I came to this conclusion:
The story about Javan(The one I posted who knows how long ago..) showed you I was M E A N, and yet, Javan still liked me. Javan stood by my side, not once leaving my side.. He was there through every mean thing that I said and did, Yes it took me 2-3 years to realize it, but I did.
When I first started to Jacob, I pretended to be my friend's boyfriend.. that was a fail..After like 3 texts..I felt REALLY REALLY bad and then fessed up to who I really was, and how I knew Woodring. He forgave me, and we started to talk. We were friends, and He told me he liked me.. After what Javan put me through..I was NASTY.. Like after many fights..he told me: "If I can't have you, I don't want anyone." and I said "Guess you will be living a lonely life while I am with a ton of guys doing what I do best!" ...After a while of this torturing mean-ness. (He confessed that I put him in tears..many many times.) He threatened suicide a couple times.. and I told him each time "Good. I hope you do, I wouldn't care." and I was just so mean!!! He threatened to cut my name into his wrist.. and I am so honestly surprised he didn't.. Well one night I was thinking about what I did to Javan, and how when I finally realized he LOVED me, that I almost lost my chance..and I didn't want to loose my chance with Jacob. I started to bawl, and Jacob ALWAYS told me he sleeps with his phone on vibrate, on his tummy so I could call him at any hour of the night. I called him at 1am one night/morning..BAWLING. I told him I was so so so sorry, and he forgave me..After several minutes of me apologizing and crying.. He said to me "Becca. I love you, and I wanted to know if you would ever want to be my baby girl?" I sat there in my dark room.. clearing away my tears and I said "I want to be your baby girl, right now..and how could you love me?" and he said to me "Your perfect, no matter how many imperfections you have..your still perfect to me. I forgive you and that pain is all worth it now that your mine, I Love You Becca Boo".. and I started to happy-cry.. and he assured me it was ohk, and that he loved me. Ever sinse that night.. I realize someone truely loves you when they have seen your WORST side, and still love you.. Jacob showed me what love was, and I love him for that. He is truely amazing..NOT ONCE has he EVER made me intentionally cry, NOT ONCE has he been nasty or mean to me.. NOT ONCE has he ever threaned to leave. He is AMAZING, And I LOVE HIM..
I thought of this..because- for reasons I can not post..but the other person who likes me, was mean to me yesterday..when I showed him my nasty side, and yet h says he loves me.. and I don't believe the 'sweet words' he says because I believe he doesn't mean them.. I beleieve I found my prince Charming, and he is EVERYTHING to me.
I also was so so so excited yesterday, was my 1 week mark till I MEET JACOB! :D :D :D :D :D
My best friend, Allie, and her boyfriend, and I, and Jaco bare all goign to the city pool(: Im nervous..but OH SO EXCITED! :D :D :D :D :D
My other really good friend said he looks/is so so so so innocent, and I can't wait to feel/see his innocence. <3 Eeeeeep!!!! :) :) :) :)
Well, I love Jacob. :D
~Becca
Ohk, so yesterday was a fun day... Hahaha..
I was thinking about everything I put Jacob through before I started to like him.. And I am not proud of how mean I was..but I was thinking about why guys liked me..and I came to this conclusion:
The story about Javan(The one I posted who knows how long ago..) showed you I was M E A N, and yet, Javan still liked me. Javan stood by my side, not once leaving my side.. He was there through every mean thing that I said and did, Yes it took me 2-3 years to realize it, but I did.
When I first started to Jacob, I pretended to be my friend's boyfriend.. that was a fail..After like 3 texts..I felt REALLY REALLY bad and then fessed up to who I really was, and how I knew Woodring. He forgave me, and we started to talk. We were friends, and He told me he liked me.. After what Javan put me through..I was NASTY.. Like after many fights..he told me: "If I can't have you, I don't want anyone." and I said "Guess you will be living a lonely life while I am with a ton of guys doing what I do best!" ...After a while of this torturing mean-ness. (He confessed that I put him in tears..many many times.) He threatened suicide a couple times.. and I told him each time "Good. I hope you do, I wouldn't care." and I was just so mean!!! He threatened to cut my name into his wrist.. and I am so honestly surprised he didn't.. Well one night I was thinking about what I did to Javan, and how when I finally realized he LOVED me, that I almost lost my chance..and I didn't want to loose my chance with Jacob. I started to bawl, and Jacob ALWAYS told me he sleeps with his phone on vibrate, on his tummy so I could call him at any hour of the night. I called him at 1am one night/morning..BAWLING. I told him I was so so so sorry, and he forgave me..After several minutes of me apologizing and crying.. He said to me "Becca. I love you, and I wanted to know if you would ever want to be my baby girl?" I sat there in my dark room.. clearing away my tears and I said "I want to be your baby girl, right now..and how could you love me?" and he said to me "Your perfect, no matter how many imperfections you have..your still perfect to me. I forgive you and that pain is all worth it now that your mine, I Love You Becca Boo".. and I started to happy-cry.. and he assured me it was ohk, and that he loved me. Ever sinse that night.. I realize someone truely loves you when they have seen your WORST side, and still love you.. Jacob showed me what love was, and I love him for that. He is truely amazing..NOT ONCE has he EVER made me intentionally cry, NOT ONCE has he been nasty or mean to me.. NOT ONCE has he ever threaned to leave. He is AMAZING, And I LOVE HIM..
I thought of this..because- for reasons I can not post..but the other person who likes me, was mean to me yesterday..when I showed him my nasty side, and yet h says he loves me.. and I don't believe the 'sweet words' he says because I believe he doesn't mean them.. I beleieve I found my prince Charming, and he is EVERYTHING to me.
I also was so so so excited yesterday, was my 1 week mark till I MEET JACOB! :D :D :D :D :D
My best friend, Allie, and her boyfriend, and I, and Jaco bare all goign to the city pool(: Im nervous..but OH SO EXCITED! :D :D :D :D :D
My other really good friend said he looks/is so so so so innocent, and I can't wait to feel/see his innocence. <3 Eeeeeep!!!! :) :) :) :)
Well, I love Jacob. :D
~Becca
Day Seven
Hey Readers, oh gosh, I have not posted in awhile, I have been busy and lazy! :P I apologize, <3
Anyway. So the 7 day mark was one of my better days!! :D On Saturday, I was THRILLED!!! I was hopping around thinking "OMG SOMETIME NEXT SATURDAY I WILL BE ON THE PHONE WITH MY PRINCE FOR HOURS!!!" I forgot all the drama for a few moments and just thought about how much I love Jacob. He gives me a strength that only a special boy can do, he never tries to make me cry..and when he does, he feels TERRIBLE about it..and cries right with me on the phone, <3 .. I am truthfully, blessed for such an amazing boy, He understands me.. He is just amazing. Lately, it seems like nobody understands how much I love him- I am very tired of being told "I am too young to love"..I was recently told I am not mature enough to make this relationship last, little does that person know how much hurt I have been through with other relationships, and the strength I have been given, It is truly amazing. I am a very mature person, even though I have many immature moments. When I am with my friend- NOBODY but the people who REALLY know me know how mature I am, especially in relationships, When I really like someone(Or love..Like Jacob<3)..I give it my 100%, and I know that's a lot. I am always willing to give myself into a commitment. Anyway, I was out with my mom for a Scrapbooking Crop, and my BestFriend(Well one of them:P, Her and Allie are my everything..and Jacob, duh.:P)- Courtney texted me saying my ex was spreading rumors about me. The rumors ranged from Jacob cheating on me, to Jacob leaving me for another girl. The thing is.. Nobody from my school..KNOWS him, except a friend..but she hates him..so that doesn't matter.. but my ex has NO freaking clue who Jacob is..and here he is..trying to ruin what I got, I KNOW Jacob isn't cheating..or planning on leaving me..but I was oh-so p.o that Javan would make up lies like that!!!!!!! I was irritated, and then I have to deal with another guy telling me he loves me...and I am just so annoyed!!! I am ready to have my boyfriend back, and everything back to normal, just to hear him say that he will take care of things, and he LOVES me and just.. I am ready for his promises, commitment, sweet words, and his listening skills. I miss him so much, but I know he will be back soon- and I am so so so ready for him to be back, I LOVE YOU JACOB MICHAEL!!!!
Anyway. So the 7 day mark was one of my better days!! :D On Saturday, I was THRILLED!!! I was hopping around thinking "OMG SOMETIME NEXT SATURDAY I WILL BE ON THE PHONE WITH MY PRINCE FOR HOURS!!!" I forgot all the drama for a few moments and just thought about how much I love Jacob. He gives me a strength that only a special boy can do, he never tries to make me cry..and when he does, he feels TERRIBLE about it..and cries right with me on the phone, <3 .. I am truthfully, blessed for such an amazing boy, He understands me.. He is just amazing. Lately, it seems like nobody understands how much I love him- I am very tired of being told "I am too young to love"..I was recently told I am not mature enough to make this relationship last, little does that person know how much hurt I have been through with other relationships, and the strength I have been given, It is truly amazing. I am a very mature person, even though I have many immature moments. When I am with my friend- NOBODY but the people who REALLY know me know how mature I am, especially in relationships, When I really like someone(Or love..Like Jacob<3)..I give it my 100%, and I know that's a lot. I am always willing to give myself into a commitment. Anyway, I was out with my mom for a Scrapbooking Crop, and my BestFriend(Well one of them:P, Her and Allie are my everything..and Jacob, duh.:P)- Courtney texted me saying my ex was spreading rumors about me. The rumors ranged from Jacob cheating on me, to Jacob leaving me for another girl. The thing is.. Nobody from my school..KNOWS him, except a friend..but she hates him..so that doesn't matter.. but my ex has NO freaking clue who Jacob is..and here he is..trying to ruin what I got, I KNOW Jacob isn't cheating..or planning on leaving me..but I was oh-so p.o that Javan would make up lies like that!!!!!!! I was irritated, and then I have to deal with another guy telling me he loves me...and I am just so annoyed!!! I am ready to have my boyfriend back, and everything back to normal, just to hear him say that he will take care of things, and he LOVES me and just.. I am ready for his promises, commitment, sweet words, and his listening skills. I miss him so much, but I know he will be back soon- and I am so so so ready for him to be back, I LOVE YOU JACOB MICHAEL!!!!
Friday, July 8, 2011
My Life With Horrible Parents!!
Hey readers.. So this is about how i hate my family!!!
My dad: cusses me out when i do something 'perfect'(which is 99.9% of the time in my parents ees!!!), uhm yells at me for spending time in my room!!!!, has an 'attitude', yells at me when i mess with him(yet he can mess with me WHENEVER he wants and i get in trouble for yelling at him!!!!) and so much other crap!!!
My mom: TREATS ME LIKE A FREAKING 3 YEAR OLD!!! I have to have my phone on the counter at 10, and she READS MY FREAKING TEXTS!!! im sorry!!! BUT THOSE ARE PERSONAL!!! im not allowed to have a Facebook( HOW FREAKING STUPID IS THAT?!?!?!?!) and she makes me go go bed at midnight( i have to be in my room at 9..) and she freaking embarrasses me EVERYWHERRE we go!!! Shes seriously stupid. I worked for HOURS on her birhday card, yah she already ruined it!! She never gives me money, i cant have the friends SHE doesnt like over... I cant makeout with a guy(thats stupid, too bad i dont care and do it anyway;) ) i cant get my belly button peirced, and i cant say 'freaking' (break that rule a lot too)... If she had it her away.. I wouldnt even HAVE a boyfriend!! Shes so stupid!! I hate her. I cant WAIT to move out.. Im moving FAR away, and too be honest... I dont want my future kids seeing my parents, they can see Uncle Carlos, but NOT my mom or dad... My mom doesnt respect me or my privacy, and im TIRED OF IT. Im a Freshman in highschool, not a freaking elemantary kid. If she had her away- i woulsnt be able to wear short shorts or my bikini... Too bad i dont care what she thinks of what i wear!:) my mom has been a horrible mother to me, and im tired of it. I cant stand up for myselc though.. Or i get in trouble. She makes promises... And breaks them... ALL OF THEM!!! I HATE MY MOTHER SO MUCH!! i PROMISE RIGHT NOW TO BE A MUCH BETTER MOTHER TO MY KIDS THEN WHAT MY MOM WAS TO ME!!! IM GONNA THINM BEFORE GETTING PRENANT BEFORE IM MARRIED!! Im gonna think of my kids and their needs before i buy a pack of ciggerettes( she thinks im too dumb to figure it out... The smell is on her clothes and the pop can in he garage is ibiously hers!!) im gonna think before smacking my kids- i will punish them.. But i will NEVER physically hurt them!!! I dont respect my mom, never will, im going to rebel at age 18.. And i will laugh as she cries. She deserves it.
My dad: cusses me out when i do something 'perfect'(which is 99.9% of the time in my parents ees!!!), uhm yells at me for spending time in my room!!!!, has an 'attitude', yells at me when i mess with him(yet he can mess with me WHENEVER he wants and i get in trouble for yelling at him!!!!) and so much other crap!!!
My mom: TREATS ME LIKE A FREAKING 3 YEAR OLD!!! I have to have my phone on the counter at 10, and she READS MY FREAKING TEXTS!!! im sorry!!! BUT THOSE ARE PERSONAL!!! im not allowed to have a Facebook( HOW FREAKING STUPID IS THAT?!?!?!?!) and she makes me go go bed at midnight( i have to be in my room at 9..) and she freaking embarrasses me EVERYWHERRE we go!!! Shes seriously stupid. I worked for HOURS on her birhday card, yah she already ruined it!! She never gives me money, i cant have the friends SHE doesnt like over... I cant makeout with a guy(thats stupid, too bad i dont care and do it anyway;) ) i cant get my belly button peirced, and i cant say 'freaking' (break that rule a lot too)... If she had it her away.. I wouldnt even HAVE a boyfriend!! Shes so stupid!! I hate her. I cant WAIT to move out.. Im moving FAR away, and too be honest... I dont want my future kids seeing my parents, they can see Uncle Carlos, but NOT my mom or dad... My mom doesnt respect me or my privacy, and im TIRED OF IT. Im a Freshman in highschool, not a freaking elemantary kid. If she had her away- i woulsnt be able to wear short shorts or my bikini... Too bad i dont care what she thinks of what i wear!:) my mom has been a horrible mother to me, and im tired of it. I cant stand up for myselc though.. Or i get in trouble. She makes promises... And breaks them... ALL OF THEM!!! I HATE MY MOTHER SO MUCH!! i PROMISE RIGHT NOW TO BE A MUCH BETTER MOTHER TO MY KIDS THEN WHAT MY MOM WAS TO ME!!! IM GONNA THINM BEFORE GETTING PRENANT BEFORE IM MARRIED!! Im gonna think of my kids and their needs before i buy a pack of ciggerettes( she thinks im too dumb to figure it out... The smell is on her clothes and the pop can in he garage is ibiously hers!!) im gonna think before smacking my kids- i will punish them.. But i will NEVER physically hurt them!!! I dont respect my mom, never will, im going to rebel at age 18.. And i will laugh as she cries. She deserves it.
Day 8
Heyy Readers. So im very p.o right now because my parents are STUPID. Anyway, this blog isnt about my stupid family, it about Jacob- the sexy.. Amazing.. Wonderful.. Love of my life:) Todays blog is pretty dramatic... So that guy who p'd me off a couple days.. P'd me off again... THE WHOLE FREAKING TIME JACOBS BEEN GONE hes been begging me to break up with Jacob to date him. This creeper had flirted with me non stop!!!(EXAMPLE: Me: shooot, i just dropped a cup full of Frosted Flakes down my shirt!!! Evan: Ill reach down and get them;)) its FREAKING ANNOYING!!!! Anyway, today we wer texting.. And he says: Becca, i love you. I was FREAKING MADD!!!!! A) i cant stand him B)I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO I ADORE!!! Yesh. I was mad! And so i went off on him:) i told him to stop texting me:D whatever i said- it worked. He hasent texted me sense(: woot!!!! Haha, so yah.. Today was drsmatic.. I love my baby more theb anything- more then my phone, ipod, and family. I wanna spend FOREVER withmy boo!!:) I LOVE JACOB!!!:)
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Day 11
Heyy Readers.. Sorry i havent blogged in a couple days- i went on vacstion and had no freaking wi-fi... Talk about being freaking p.o.. Anyway, we went to Cedar Point/Soak City.. Dont get me wrong i LOVE the places, but it SUCKS seein all the PDA with couples when your missing your baby..:'( it was so hard not to cry... To TRY to realive some stress, i took Carlos to the beach.. there i wrote our names in the sand, and daydreamed of walking along the shore.. I cried a little- but i made it through by building sand castles with Carlos:) i then asked me mom if i could go to Cedar Point with Carlos- alone. She agreed... I made him hold my hand- so i didnt loose him(: it felt good holding his hand, it msde me less sad. we rode the Magnum, Skyhalk, and Mellenium before returning to the hotel room for sleep.. Where i drifted thinking about a soft romantic makeout session with Jacob!! i love you:)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Day 12
Heyyy Readers, today i dont feel like podting my '16 Days' blog:( sorry... I just want to say 'Becca and Jacob forever'
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day 13
Heyy readers, guess what- i actually am posting my blog post esrlier than normal.. And today is actually still the '13 days till he getd back' *gasp* i know, Becca Boo has a lot on her mind, Someone made me VERY upset by trying to make me doubt my love for Jacob. I do not doubt my love for Jacob, today i realized HOW much i adore him. I do adore him, today is actually my 5 week anniversarry with him(: Happy Anniversary baby!!! I got very offended by the words he said to me- to add to it, he honestly was trying t tell me how far (sexually) i am "allowed" to go with him!!! Excuse me, but my sex life is his and mine( NOTE TO READERS: i plan to stay pure, its just its annoying to have someone try to dictate your sex life) anyway- i then cried because i miss him... And its hard, i just wanted to tell Jacob about this person, and i couldnt!! I wanted to kiss him and say "Happy 5 weeks" I wanted him to hold me tight and give me safety, today i was sad....
My boyfriend will getto see the fireworks in New York City tomorrow night.. And frankilly, im freaking jealous!!! Im jealous and sad. He said a while back(before he knew about the trip..) that we could see the fireworks together, and hoe romsntic it would be to make out under thr falling colors...:( and im sad that ill be lonely, but its ohk.. Its my moms birthday anyway..:/ siggggh. I Love You Jacob, oh my gummybears.. Im cryin'!!! :,( blah !! Well. Im honna go cry to sleep, love you guys -Becca
My boyfriend will getto see the fireworks in New York City tomorrow night.. And frankilly, im freaking jealous!!! Im jealous and sad. He said a while back(before he knew about the trip..) that we could see the fireworks together, and hoe romsntic it would be to make out under thr falling colors...:( and im sad that ill be lonely, but its ohk.. Its my moms birthday anyway..:/ siggggh. I Love You Jacob, oh my gummybears.. Im cryin'!!! :,( blah !! Well. Im honna go cry to sleep, love you guys -Becca
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Tomorrow, July 4, Is my mom's Birthday. I know it seems stupid that I am posting about a Birthday, but I am taking this as an opportunity to post about my mom, My mother, has been there for me for 14 long years.
I was born before my mother married my father- and I often get weird looks about that because my mother is a dedicated Christian (Now). Well. I want to say, I don't judge my mom for having me fore she was married. I do not wish to follow in those footsteps, but I will respect the past.
I was a year old, and my mother had married my father six months previous, Things were rough, living in Arizona, The things that took place are far too personal to be posting on here- and I don't even fully understand myself.
I was two when my mother and father picked up everything we owned and put it in the back of a U-Haul and we moved to Ohio. We moved in with my grandmother, who was the only person we knew in Ohio. My mother cried, for me.
I was three, things were still going rough, but it felt much safer to be in Ohio without all the bad troubles of bad friends, abusive family, and ect. My mother's smile shown a little bit more brightly, loving me unconditionally.
I was four when I met my preschool love. My mom says we held hands under the table at school, and he kissed me on the cheek everyday at recess. My mom helped in my class.
I was five when I thought my dad's best friend- Matt, was a a hot man, I had a huge crush on him- and I even told him that. He always hugged me and I felt like a Princess. My mom laughed at me, but let it go.
I was six when I began to grow up, I met my Childhood best friend- Alissa, and I loved her. We spent every minute,second, hour of the day together. My mother made it happen.
I was seven when I began to tell secrets, Alissa was my friend who I played babies with,we had tea parties, we pretended we were models, we even pretended to live on a deserted island. My mother made sure my imagination always ran wild.
I was eight when my classmate did something terrible to me. Austin, he told me I was wonderful. He made me feel alright, and he hurt me. I can't say how- but the incident when unresolved. My mother pulled me out of school and started to homeschool me.
I was nine when I met my current best friend- Allie. When nobody else would be my friend, Allie did. She loved me like a sister..and we supported each other. <3 My mother allowed us to have sleepovers.
I was ten when my cat went insane and attacked me. (I still have scars to prove it.) My mother watched in total fear as I had scratch marks every inch of my arms,face,and legs. My mother desperatly tried to take away the pain.
I was eleven when I went back to public school, I made many new friends but was intimidated by not knowing anyone. My mother comforted me everyday.
I was twelve when I fell for Timmy- the perfect boy that every girl was best friends with. My mother chuckled and hoped for the best.
I was thirteen when I fell in love with Javan, I dated Javan, and I kissed Javan.(1st Kiss). He broke up with me on Christmas, My mother held me for hours just so I could cry, and I swear she was crying too.
I am fourteen, And I am dating Jacob- my current and hopefully forever boyfriend. My mother respects that I am growing up, and she looks at herself realizing she is growing up too.
My mother and I have cried,laughed, and spent hours in conversation. I would not say we are the closest- not even close, but I love my mother, and I hope her Birthday is amazing-
happy Fourth Of July/Birthday mom. Enjoy the fireworks- that are put on JUST for you. <3
I was born before my mother married my father- and I often get weird looks about that because my mother is a dedicated Christian (Now). Well. I want to say, I don't judge my mom for having me fore she was married. I do not wish to follow in those footsteps, but I will respect the past.
I was a year old, and my mother had married my father six months previous, Things were rough, living in Arizona, The things that took place are far too personal to be posting on here- and I don't even fully understand myself.
I was two when my mother and father picked up everything we owned and put it in the back of a U-Haul and we moved to Ohio. We moved in with my grandmother, who was the only person we knew in Ohio. My mother cried, for me.
I was three, things were still going rough, but it felt much safer to be in Ohio without all the bad troubles of bad friends, abusive family, and ect. My mother's smile shown a little bit more brightly, loving me unconditionally.
I was four when I met my preschool love. My mom says we held hands under the table at school, and he kissed me on the cheek everyday at recess. My mom helped in my class.
I was five when I thought my dad's best friend- Matt, was a a hot man, I had a huge crush on him- and I even told him that. He always hugged me and I felt like a Princess. My mom laughed at me, but let it go.
I was six when I began to grow up, I met my Childhood best friend- Alissa, and I loved her. We spent every minute,second, hour of the day together. My mother made it happen.
I was seven when I began to tell secrets, Alissa was my friend who I played babies with,we had tea parties, we pretended we were models, we even pretended to live on a deserted island. My mother made sure my imagination always ran wild.
I was eight when my classmate did something terrible to me. Austin, he told me I was wonderful. He made me feel alright, and he hurt me. I can't say how- but the incident when unresolved. My mother pulled me out of school and started to homeschool me.
I was nine when I met my current best friend- Allie. When nobody else would be my friend, Allie did. She loved me like a sister..and we supported each other. <3 My mother allowed us to have sleepovers.
I was ten when my cat went insane and attacked me. (I still have scars to prove it.) My mother watched in total fear as I had scratch marks every inch of my arms,face,and legs. My mother desperatly tried to take away the pain.
I was eleven when I went back to public school, I made many new friends but was intimidated by not knowing anyone. My mother comforted me everyday.
I was twelve when I fell for Timmy- the perfect boy that every girl was best friends with. My mother chuckled and hoped for the best.
I was thirteen when I fell in love with Javan, I dated Javan, and I kissed Javan.(1st Kiss). He broke up with me on Christmas, My mother held me for hours just so I could cry, and I swear she was crying too.
I am fourteen, And I am dating Jacob- my current and hopefully forever boyfriend. My mother respects that I am growing up, and she looks at herself realizing she is growing up too.
My mother and I have cried,laughed, and spent hours in conversation. I would not say we are the closest- not even close, but I love my mother, and I hope her Birthday is amazing-
happy Fourth Of July/Birthday mom. Enjoy the fireworks- that are put on JUST for you. <3
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Day 14
Ok. Im going to be completely honest, today was hard. I litterly bawled hard today. I miss Jacob so much, i did talk to my sister.. Who i shared cute quirks my boyy does, and I realized something- Jacob loves me and misses me just as much as i love and miss him. I realized.. Hes giving me strength just like im giving him strength, he left his heart in the palm of my hand as i did the same for him. So in the midst of my emotional withdrawls, i found out i am on the verge of being very ill due to mt weight- i am loosing weight rapidly.. And its getting, beyond not healthy, anyway, i cried again because my boyfriend wasnt available to take my pain and worries.. :( sadness. Anywy, my dads BestFriend and his daughter Ciara came over about 11:45, well i was hungry.. And we ha pancakes, Yes. I sarcastically asked my dad if i was allowed- to my dismay, he said YES!!! so i made pancakes at Midnight, to make it better- THEY WERE PURPLE!!!!:D ahhh, they were really yummy! Pancakes ARE an amazing comfort food.. I feel so much morr relaxed after eating hotcakes and jamming to Tenth North Avenue(: now, to bed i go so i can get up for Church tomorrow - Becca
~ Colors~
Hey Readers, so I decided to post a humorous story before I got down to business in my serious blog, I sent this story to about 8 friends after it happened, ALL of them assured me they LEGIT L(aughed)O(ut)L(oud)'ed.
Ok so my little brother is 7, and frankilly, he's my BestFriend too. I do not care if he is 7 years younger than me, our bond is unbreakable. Anyway,I am getting off subject, the story begins in my kitchen..
We were discussing my hair, I am a very very dirty blonde. ;) (Lol I mean, I am almost brown, but its blonde, I swear!) And I was telling him I was a dirty blonde.. And the conversation went on, and he didn't understand what 'dirty blonde' meant. He thinks there is blonde,brown,red..ect. Forget the different shades of hair, hair color is hair color to him. Well about 9:00pm last night, Carl was laying in my bed with me watching me write my story about Fireflies.(I might post it, I think its a very cute inspiring story..:) ) :
Me: Carl, your very tan!!!! (Talking about his skin color..Obviously)
Carl: *looks at his arm, then me* No wayy, I am just a really dirty white!
Me: *Bursts into hysterical laughter* Carl!!!! Hahaha!!
Carl: It will probably be clean white when I take a shower.. (Confused by my laughter)
Me: Carl, I love you! :)
Oh, it was pure epicness! Definitely made my night, took my mind off of Jacob and another issue, and it filled my heart with a desire to be with my brother. The bond of a brother and sister is indescribable, Especially when your not afraid to hold hands on the way to the ice-cream shop uptown, when you can beat the crap out of each other and sit in each others laps saying "I love you this much" as we are throwing punches. Yes, Our bond is amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. <3
Ok so my little brother is 7, and frankilly, he's my BestFriend too. I do not care if he is 7 years younger than me, our bond is unbreakable. Anyway,I am getting off subject, the story begins in my kitchen..
We were discussing my hair, I am a very very dirty blonde. ;) (Lol I mean, I am almost brown, but its blonde, I swear!) And I was telling him I was a dirty blonde.. And the conversation went on, and he didn't understand what 'dirty blonde' meant. He thinks there is blonde,brown,red..ect. Forget the different shades of hair, hair color is hair color to him. Well about 9:00pm last night, Carl was laying in my bed with me watching me write my story about Fireflies.(I might post it, I think its a very cute inspiring story..:) ) :
Me: Carl, your very tan!!!! (Talking about his skin color..Obviously)
Carl: *looks at his arm, then me* No wayy, I am just a really dirty white!
Me: *Bursts into hysterical laughter* Carl!!!! Hahaha!!
Carl: It will probably be clean white when I take a shower.. (Confused by my laughter)
Me: Carl, I love you! :)
Oh, it was pure epicness! Definitely made my night, took my mind off of Jacob and another issue, and it filled my heart with a desire to be with my brother. The bond of a brother and sister is indescribable, Especially when your not afraid to hold hands on the way to the ice-cream shop uptown, when you can beat the crap out of each other and sit in each others laps saying "I love you this much" as we are throwing punches. Yes, Our bond is amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. <3
Day 15.
Oh My Gosh, Readers, I am so sorry for not posting 'Day 15' Of My '16 Days Blog'. Anyway, here is yesterday's blog, and I promise to try harder to post my posts. :P
Ohk, So frankilly, I delt with his absence COMPLETELY different yesterday. I went to WWW.Areopostle.Com to look up the cost of his future hoodie, and of course, my luck..the only Orange hoodie they have is the most expensive one! The other hoodie in a bright blue,white,and red are all $20, but the freaking Orange one is $45. Im starting my Summer job, tomorrow, so I will be able to raise a few bucks that way, and being the most amazing girlfriend he could ever dream of having.. I am going to use that money to buy him the hoodie, even though I am saving up for a pair of shoes. (Ehem, they are smexxxy DC's.!!!) So anyway, I looked up the cost, and was curious about Homecoming dresses, so I looked up Homecoming dresses. (Can't you FEEL the excitement I am ALREADY feeling for Homecoming??!?!?!?! :P) I found some really cute ones :) I looked up Wedding dresses too. (It's not my fault the website I was on had every kind of dress imaginable on it! :P) Well after that, his name stayed out of my head. (I am so so so proud of myself!) well..till about Midnight today. (We are counting it as yesterday, because to me..'today' doesn't start till I wake up in the morning. :P) One of my friends brought up a very sexual subject.. XD Well me, being lonely.. I started to daydream of what I wanted to do with him. (It was not THAT sexual!:P I promise.) So I got all sad that I couldn't kiss him for 15 more days.. And then I got sad, then I smiled because I thought about the surprise, and how romantic our kisses are going to be :) So although I dealt with his absence differently, I do admit (With no embarrassment!) that I thoroughly enjoyed my coping strategy! ;D No, I have 2 other blog posts to post, so I must go, LOVE YOU GUYS!, And Jacob..Praying and Hoping he's having fun, and missing me;) Jk. Jk. :D
Ohk, So frankilly, I delt with his absence COMPLETELY different yesterday. I went to WWW.Areopostle.Com to look up the cost of his future hoodie, and of course, my luck..the only Orange hoodie they have is the most expensive one! The other hoodie in a bright blue,white,and red are all $20, but the freaking Orange one is $45. Im starting my Summer job, tomorrow, so I will be able to raise a few bucks that way, and being the most amazing girlfriend he could ever dream of having.. I am going to use that money to buy him the hoodie, even though I am saving up for a pair of shoes. (Ehem, they are smexxxy DC's.!!!) So anyway, I looked up the cost, and was curious about Homecoming dresses, so I looked up Homecoming dresses. (Can't you FEEL the excitement I am ALREADY feeling for Homecoming??!?!?!?! :P) I found some really cute ones :) I looked up Wedding dresses too. (It's not my fault the website I was on had every kind of dress imaginable on it! :P) Well after that, his name stayed out of my head. (I am so so so proud of myself!) well..till about Midnight today. (We are counting it as yesterday, because to me..'today' doesn't start till I wake up in the morning. :P) One of my friends brought up a very sexual subject.. XD Well me, being lonely.. I started to daydream of what I wanted to do with him. (It was not THAT sexual!:P I promise.) So I got all sad that I couldn't kiss him for 15 more days.. And then I got sad, then I smiled because I thought about the surprise, and how romantic our kisses are going to be :) So although I dealt with his absence differently, I do admit (With no embarrassment!) that I thoroughly enjoyed my coping strategy! ;D No, I have 2 other blog posts to post, so I must go, LOVE YOU GUYS!, And Jacob..Praying and Hoping he's having fun, and missing me;) Jk. Jk. :D
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day 16.
Hey Readers- so I was supposed to post this last night, but your blog poster was distracted by a Birthday card for her mom, :) Anyway. Here is my blog post for ~16 Days~
As you guys [should] know, Jacob took a flight early yesterday morning with his Youth Group for a mission's trip in New York, And I told you guys I was going to blog everyday about how I feel about it and how I am coping with his absence in my everyday life.
I stayed up till about 1am yesterday morning, and I was determined to stay up till I was sure he was ON his flight (Which by the way, I wasn't exactly sure WHEN that even was..) Well I fell asleep, anyway I woke up about 10:45 (EARLY for me!!!!!!) I woke up and went on with life, and then I started to miss him, so I texted up a couple friends telling them stories about him that relaxed me. Then as a joke, I told 3 of my Best Friends that they were going to be in my wedding! :P So I basically coped throughout the day thinking about marrying him. :] I am praying so much for his safety, and I am still jealous, I bet New York is GORGEOUS! Especially at night.. And I wonder if he saw/is going to see Ground Zero.. Hmm, I pray he is having fun and that he is being SAFE and not doing anything stupid..
OH MY GOSH! SUE ME!, I forgot to tell you the BEST part of my day!! :O
Ohk, So this guy says he's 'in love with me' but when he said that.. he told me he still had feelings for his ex.. MY OPINION::::::::::
If you really LOVE someone, its physically/emotionally IMPOSSIBLE to have ANY feelings for ANYONE else besides the person your claiming to love. (I LOVE Jacob. :P)
So I got really mad and explained he can't love me then if he liked his ex still..and he tried telling me that I liked him..so I didn't love Jacob.. DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FREAKING P.O I WAS?!?! No. I got REALLY mad...and then something in my heart and mind sparked an idea- Jacob always shows me how much he loves me, and he is trying impossibly hard in our relationship, and I should try harder then I have been to make sure he knows without NO doubts that I love him. Soo I came up with some creative ideas to prove that to him on July 16, 2011. (The day he gets back :) )
IDEA UNO: I was going to sit in a box in his room..and pop out when he walked in. <3 ..but uhmm..I dont know what time he gets home :P
IDEA DOS: I am going to spend the night at my Best Friend's house. (Who lives like a mile from him. :) ) and I am going to walk to his house..and sit in his backyard and say "Hey babe, Can I come over?..Too late im on my way but I am lost..Come outside and wait for me to get there" and I am going to surprise him with an Orange Aeropostle hoodie :D
^ IDEA DOS, is the one I am going to do(: Its going to be completely epic! <3
As you guys [should] know, Jacob took a flight early yesterday morning with his Youth Group for a mission's trip in New York, And I told you guys I was going to blog everyday about how I feel about it and how I am coping with his absence in my everyday life.
I stayed up till about 1am yesterday morning, and I was determined to stay up till I was sure he was ON his flight (Which by the way, I wasn't exactly sure WHEN that even was..) Well I fell asleep, anyway I woke up about 10:45 (EARLY for me!!!!!!) I woke up and went on with life, and then I started to miss him, so I texted up a couple friends telling them stories about him that relaxed me. Then as a joke, I told 3 of my Best Friends that they were going to be in my wedding! :P So I basically coped throughout the day thinking about marrying him. :] I am praying so much for his safety, and I am still jealous, I bet New York is GORGEOUS! Especially at night.. And I wonder if he saw/is going to see Ground Zero.. Hmm, I pray he is having fun and that he is being SAFE and not doing anything stupid..
OH MY GOSH! SUE ME!, I forgot to tell you the BEST part of my day!! :O
Ohk, So this guy says he's 'in love with me' but when he said that.. he told me he still had feelings for his ex.. MY OPINION::::::::::
If you really LOVE someone, its physically/emotionally IMPOSSIBLE to have ANY feelings for ANYONE else besides the person your claiming to love. (I LOVE Jacob. :P)
So I got really mad and explained he can't love me then if he liked his ex still..and he tried telling me that I liked him..so I didn't love Jacob.. DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FREAKING P.O I WAS?!?! No. I got REALLY mad...and then something in my heart and mind sparked an idea- Jacob always shows me how much he loves me, and he is trying impossibly hard in our relationship, and I should try harder then I have been to make sure he knows without NO doubts that I love him. Soo I came up with some creative ideas to prove that to him on July 16, 2011. (The day he gets back :) )
IDEA UNO: I was going to sit in a box in his room..and pop out when he walked in. <3 ..but uhmm..I dont know what time he gets home :P
IDEA DOS: I am going to spend the night at my Best Friend's house. (Who lives like a mile from him. :) ) and I am going to walk to his house..and sit in his backyard and say "Hey babe, Can I come over?..Too late im on my way but I am lost..Come outside and wait for me to get there" and I am going to surprise him with an Orange Aeropostle hoodie :D
^ IDEA DOS, is the one I am going to do(: Its going to be completely epic! <3
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